Figuring Out The Dummies With The Dummy

, , , , , , , | Learning | October 19, 2017

I took a foods course that was divided into “Theory” and “Cooking,” with half the class doing each at any given time, then swapping to the other. I always did the theory first for any given unit, and was one of the few who actually did the work, and one of fewer who actually got good marks from it.

Most of the rest of the class were, unfortunately, the types who scraped by if given the chance, and it showed during the cooking portion when they barely got passing marks. They all saw that I frequently got good marks, and because our paperwork was kept in a public area, they tried to use mine to cheat for marks.

I saw this, but had no real way to take care of it; if I kept my work in my locker, it wouldn’t get marked by the teacher. However, for the final assignment, effectively a “Final Exam” worth around 35% of the final mark, I concocted a scheme to punish them for cheating. I informed my teacher about my suspicions, and told him that I would submit a “dummy” exam with intentionally wrong answers, and give him the proper exam later. He agreed that would be fine. I did so, leaving this “dummy” exam in the main pile, and then let my fellow students know my opinion on cheaters. They laughed at it, and I went about my business.

We got our final marks back, this final assignment included. The cheaters all looked shocked at their final marks, until I heard them at the next table over trying to whisper, “That makes no sense, I copied him…” and “That means [My Name] also got a 0!” as they walked over to me, laughing. “Hey, [My Name]. What did you get?”

“I got 95%,” I said.

They just stopped, took a moment, and walked away, as my professor sat in the corner laughing at the exchange.

You Pay Like A Girl

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I’m a female heavy-duty mechanic. I get put to work on a customer’s truck that I’ve been warned is a pain in the a**. I get finished with his truck with no problem and bring him over to my service writer to finish paperwork.)

Service Writer: “Please sign here.”

Customer: “Do I get a cheaper price because she’s a girl?”

Me: “…”

Service Writer: No.”

Customer: “Why not? Other places do it.”

(There is a moment of silence as my service writer glares at the man and I focus harder on my paperwork so that I don’t swear at him.)

Service Writer: *finally breaking the silence* “We don’t work like that here.”

Customer: *grumbles and walks away*

Me: “Did he really say that?”

Service Writer: “Yup, and he’s not even paying the bill. His boss is.”

You Couldn’t Print This Up

, , , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(I am working retail while going through school for computer science. Coming into work one day, however, I notice that the printer isn’t working, which means that I can’t print off the signs I need to print. Keep in mind I’m about 16 at the time.)

Me: “What happened?”

Boss: “The printer stopped working overnight. We phoned IT in earlier today. They took a look and said the parts are completely fried and it’ll need a full replacement.”

Me: “Really? It was working fine yesterday. Give me five minutes with it. I’ll see if I can fix it, and if I can’t I’ll leave it be.”

Boss: “Are you sure? You’re still learning, while IT has their certification.”

Me: “Of course, but it’s very easy to overlook something. Five minutes is all I ask.”

(She gives me the green light and I get to work. After some short troubleshooting, I find out that somebody has unplugged the cord connecting it to the computer. I plug it in, test, and sure enough, the printer is working just fine again, with no sign of damage.)

Me: “I found the problem. Somebody unplugged it.”

(My boss comes to the printer and looks. Sure enough, nothing matches how IT described it.)

Boss: *laughing* “All right, I’m going to have to phone IT and let them know that our printer is fine, and that our un-certified 16-year-old part-time employee fixed what they couldn’t.”

They’re Not “Torn” As To Which Student To Pick

, , , , | Learning | October 12, 2017

(I’m studying broadcasting, hoping to get a job in radio. In one of our projects, we have to design a contest for the college radio station, then actually go out into the real world, meet with real businesses, and get them to sponsor it. I’ve got a meeting with a prospective sponsor, so for an extra air of professionalism, I decide to wear my suit. On my way out, I run into one of my instructors in the hallway.)

Instructor: “And what are you all dressed up for?”

Me: “Oh, it’s for the promotions project. I’m off to a meeting with a potential sponsor.”

Instructor: “Well, I’m glad one of you guys knows how to dress to make sales calls.”

(Yeah, turns out my classmates giving their presentations in torn T-shirts weren’t doing so well at rounding up sponsors.)

I Will Plant Myself Right Here

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(I work at a hotel resort in the Rockies, doing the overnight shift. Since it is a slow night, I spend most of it in the back room doing my reports. At 3:00 am, I go out to roll the business date and come face to face with one of our guests, clearly under the influence, trying to walk off with one of the plants we keep at the front desk. He looks at me, alarmed, obviously not expecting me to be there, and I look at him, surprised to see someone as well. After a moment, he slowly sets the plant back down.)

Guest: *pouting* “You weren’t supposed to see me.”

(He sheepishly walked over to the elevators, and I did my best to refrain from laughing until the elevator doors closed behind him.)

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