That Creep Chickened Out

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 31, 2019

I’m picking up a few things at the dollar store for a children’s event. This particular store usually has a security guard because it’s in a sketchy part of town. As I’m finding my things, another patron looks me up and down, whistles at me, makes a comment about my a**, and starts following me through the store. I’m a long way from the doors and tills, so I start trying to find the security guard, as I’m not comfortable confronting the creepy patron myself.

As I’m making my way through the store, I pass by a rack of rubber chickens. I pause to examine them, since they are one of the items I am there to pick up. The first chicken I grab makes a loud and obnoxious squeaking sound, startling both me and the creep on my tail. I make eye contact with the creep, who is now scowling at me. I grin and proceed to make as much noise with the chicken as possible — partly because I think rubber chickens are hilarious and partly because it’s making the creep uncomfortable. I toss several chickens into my cart just as the security guard comes walking out the end of an aisle, presumably to tell me to shut up. The creep backs away from me, and I finish my trip in peace. I like to think he was deterred by my bounty of obnoxious rubber chickens. 

I should note that I ended up giving the chickens back at the till after deciding that our event would be hectic enough without trying to compete over the noise of rubber chickens controlled by children.

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You’re Gone In Forty Minutes

, , , , | Working | July 18, 2019

(I’m working a double shift at a popular sports pizza joint near Christmas time. There also happens to be a huge sports event going on, so we’re packed. I’m a supervisor and have two waitresses not show up for the night, and one cook calls in sick, so we’re short-staffed. For this night, I’m supervisor, acting manager, and waitress/hostess. A table of regulars has come in — a father, wife, and young teenage daughter. A newly-hired assistant supervisor is also on shift this evening, who I can tell doesn’t like me from the get-go. I appoint her to help the kitchen staff. The customers ask to sit in my section by my name. After a thirty-minute wait, they’re finally seated. The lineup to get a table is still out the door, not to mention the many delivery orders flooding through.)

Me: “Hey, guys! Just a heads up: we’re super busy tonight due to the game, but I’ll try my best to get everything out for you as quick as possible.”

Husband: “No problem, [My Name]! I’ll have the large spaghetti Bolognese with garlic bread.”

Wife: “[Daughter] and I will share a medium deluxe pizza, please!”

(I ring their order into my computer and get their drinks. Twenty minutes later, I stop at the table and assure them their food will be coming soon. They smile and let me know there’s no rush.)

Me: *to kitchen* “How’s my order for [table] coming, guys?”

Assistant Supervisor: “Are you blind? We’re busy. Chill out.”

Me: “Just asking, hun! Going on 23 minutes now, and I want to keep everything flowing smoothly.”

(I finish up some other tables and get more people seated. As I’m walking back to the kitchen area, the table calls for me.)

Husband: “It’s been about 45 minutes now, and I know I said no rush, but we’re starving. Could you check how long it’ll be?”

Me: “Of course! So sorry, guys. I’ll promo your bill for 30% off for the wait. Be right back!”

(I go to the kitchen.)

Me: “Guys, I need [table] right now; what’s taking so long? [Other Waitress]’s order went through after mine and she served her table fifteen minutes ago. Let’s go, guys!”

Assistant Supervisor: “Don’t tell me how to do my f****** job! It’s done when it’s done!”

(I go back into the kitchen to look for the order printout and food, both of which are nowhere to be found. I check the computer and my order has been deleted. You have to input a code to delete orders or take payments, and the assistant supervisor’s code was used to void out my order.)

Me: *to her* “What the h***?! My customers have been waiting nearly an hour now and my order is gone!”

Assistant Supervisor: “Whoops, must have done it by accident!”

Me: “It’s a five-step process to void an order without payment once it’s been sent to the kitchen. Do not touch the computers, and get these orders made. Stay in the kitchen.”

Assistant Supervisor: *mumbling* “F*** you.”

(By this time, all the staff at the front desk and kitchen are staring at us. I personally go to the kitchen and make my table’s meals. I turn around and they’re standing at the front desk.)

Husband: “It’s been over an hour and we have to go; it’s already like 9:30. Can I get our food to go, please?”

Me: “Of course. I’m so sorry. There was a mix-up in the kitchen and your food wasn’t made, but I prepped it myself. Please accept my sincerest apologies and—“ *hand them the food* “—it’s on the house.”


(The customers go red and literally run out the door. A number of customers waiting to be seated gasp and some walk out.)


Me: “[Assistant Supervisor], you need to calm down. Come back with me in the office and talk like a normal person. Voided orders come out of my cheque, so nobody’s stealing anything.”

(She continued screaming and swearing, and eventually, only three tables remained — customers who were too occupied with the game on the big screen to notice what was going on. I ended up walking out, in tears, from her words to me. The owner begged me to come back the next day and she was fired.)


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Unfiltered Story #155578

, , | Unfiltered | June 29, 2019

(A man comes in and begins browsing around the store. He’s interested in some of the bread for sale.)

Customer: [Company Name] sourdough, huh? What is that like, a rye?

Me: No, sir. It’s a sourdough.

Unfiltered Story #155572

, , | Unfiltered | June 29, 2019

(A man comes in and requests some bread he would like to have sliced.)

Me: We can slice the bread at different thicknesses, if you’d like. We can do 1/2-inch or 3/4-inch slices.

Customer: Which one’s bigger?

Back-Of-The-Trucking Mad Prices

, , , , | Right | June 19, 2019

(A customer comes in that has a reputation for being a bit on the shady side. The customer is looking at a TV that has a price of $2,500. When the customer comes in, there are only a couple of other people in the store as it is a very slow day today.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase this TV, but you have it priced way too high. I can get this for $500.00 at [Electronics Store], where my buddy works.”

Me: “The only way you could get it for that price is if it fell off the back of a truck.”

Customer: “No, that’s what it’s priced at; go ahead and check their website.”

Me: “There is absolutely no way that they sell that TV for only $500. From time to time they are a little less expensive than us, but not that much.”

Customer: “You guys are a rip-off.”

Me: “If you know you’re able to get the TV for $500 from the other store, why are you even in here looking, then?”

Customer: “I thought I’d give you guys a chance to get my business. Now, I want that TV and I want it for $500.”

Me: “I’ll tell you what. I’ll look up the price on their website and we’ll go from there.”

(I go to their site and I see that they are selling the TV for $2 less than what we are selling it for.)

Me: “They are selling the TV for less than what we are selling it for.”

Customer: “See, I told you.”

Me: “You know what? Just so I can gain your business I’ll even match their price.”

Customer: “Well, that’s more like it. About time.”

Me: “That will be $2,498.”

Customer: “No way. You said you’d match their price, and I know they’re selling it for $500!”

Me: “No, they sell it for $2 less than what we sell it for. Here, have a look.”

(I turn the computer monitor around so he can see the price and TV on their site.)

Customer: “Well, their site’s wrong. My buddy said I can have that TV for $500.”

Me: “Again, I’m telling you the only way you are getting that TV for that low of a price is if it falls off of the back of the truck.”

Customer: “You’ve just lost a customer; I will never shop here again.”

Me: “Why, thank you for making my day. See you.”

(Sadly, he did not keep his promise; he continued coming back and pestering all of the workers. The odd time he would buy something, but for the most part, he just tried to get absolutely ridiculous deals on the electronics.)

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