They Want Him To Be Impossible Free

, , , | Right | September 28, 2018

(The company I work for has investment products that are not liquid just due to the nature of the investment. A lot of our clients are older and get upset when they’re told that they can’t withdraw their funds on short notice. There are some people we know well, investors that we can’t appease no matter what. On this day, the lady who calls in is one of our familiar characters, who seems to feel she deserves special treatment even when she’s horrible. So, it isn’t really a surprise when she says calls both me and my coworker — who talked to her a few minutes ago and was hung up on — rude and demands to speak to our manager.)

Customer: “I want your manager to call me back as soon as possible! It’s very important!”

Me: “I’ll have him call you as soon as he’s free, ma’am.”

Customer: “I said as soon as possible, not when he’s free!”

Me: “Ma’am, that is as soon as possible. He can’t call you if he’s not free to do so.”

(The customer hung up on me.)

No Holiday From These Customers

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2018

(I work in a store in a mall. During a regular day we open at 9:30, before the rest of the mall. On holidays, we open at 10:00 am with the rest of the mall. It is New Year’s Day. I am getting the front area of the store ready for the day at least an hour before we open. As it gets closer to our regular time of opening, people start crowding around the doors waiting to get in. A few minutes after our regular open time, a customer starts pounding on the door. I go to a small door to see what the customer wants.)

Me: “Hello. Is there a problem?”

Customer: “What the h***, lady? Why aren’t you open yet? You are supposed to be open!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t open until 10:00 this morning.”

Customer: “No, you open at 9:30! Open the door so I can go inside already.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t open at 9:30 today—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Yes, you do. I can read your store hours! It’s posted right there!” *points at the sign*

Me: “Yes, it says our holiday hours are 10:00 am to 6:00 pm.”

Customer: “It’s not a holiday. What are you talking about? Just open the store; I have places to be.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s a holiday today, and I can’t open the store until 10:00 am. We don’t have the staff scheduled until 10:00 am to run the store. Right now it’s just me and one other person. I am very sorry, but I need to go back inside to finish my work before we open.”

Customer: “But you are supposed to be open now!”

Me: “We will be open in 15 minutes. I am sorry. I really have to go now.”

(Fast forward to 10:00 am:)

Customer: “About time you guys opened! I can’t believe you guys think that it’s a holiday today!”

(The customer continues to complain and be frustrated and angry with me and the entire staff the entire time she is in the store.)

Customer: *leaving the store* “IT’S NOT A HOLIDAY!”

No Rack Slack

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2018

(I am in working in a women’s clothing shop and overhear this exchange between a mother and her young daughter as they are shopping. The daughter picks up a brightly-coloured top, which happened to be on the floor, and shows it to her mother.)

Daughter: “What about this one, Mom? I think it would look go on you.”

Mom: “No! It’s ugly; put it back!”

(The daughter, obviously sad her mom didn’t like her choice, goes to hang the shirt back on the rack. The mom rips it out of her hand and dumps it on the floor.)

Mom: “Did you find it on the rack?”

Daughter: *even more distraught than before* “Well, no…”

Mom: “You put it back where you found it. They have staff to clean up the mess!”

(She grabbed the daughter’s hand and pulled her away from me, as I got called to help as a cashier. I wanted to go to the girl and pick up the shirt and thank her for trying to help keep the store clean.)

The Gift Cards That Keep On Giving Suspicion

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2018

(I’m the idiot in this story. I was sent to buy a number of gift cards from our local department store to give out to employees found to be doing good work on our project. My dad works for the same company and has sent me to purchase the gift cards with his corporate Visa.)

Cashier: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Me: “Hi there. Can I please have ten gift cards with $100 each on them?”

Cashier: “Sure, no problem.” *fills the cards and scans them through* “That will be $1000.”

Me: “Visa, please.”

(I hand over my dad’s corporate card, and she processes the transaction. The gift cards have been paid for.)

Cashier: “Do you have another piece of ID on you? With a value this high, I need to verify the signature on the credit card.”

Me: “Oh, the signature won’t match. It’s my dad’s corporate card; he sent me to pick up these gift cards.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay, well, do you have some ID on you to verify identity?”

Me: *patting pockets, suddenly realising I left work without my wallet* “I’m so sorry. I seem to have left my wallet at work in my rush to get here.”

Cashier: *growing increasingly suspicious* “I see. I just need to call a manager.”

(I begin frantically trying to reach my dad to have him verify the use of the card — though it won’t do much good with me not having any ID — but he is unreachable. The cashier returns with her manager.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. I realise this probably looks pretty sketchy.”

Manager: “I’m going to have to hold the gift cards. I can’t let you leave with them knowing that this is not your credit card, and you have no way to prove that you have authority to use it.”

Me: “I understand. Let me try to get in touch with my manager who may be able to help or can perhaps find my dad.”

(Meanwhile, the bank associated with the credit card has phoned the department store and informed them that the card has been frozen due to unusual activity. My dad rarely uses his card, and it has coincidentally been used twice already that day so a third transaction seems suspicious to the bank. I get in touch with my manager on my cell phone.)

Me: “This is a mess; I can’t leave with the gift cards because I admitted it’s not my credit card that I paid with and I have no ID.”

My Manager: “Can you see the gift cards?”

Me: “Yes. Why?”

My Manager: “Are you near a door?”

Me: “Yes. Where are you going with this?”

My Manager: “GRAB THEM AND RUN!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

My Manager: “I’m kidding. I’ll try to find your Dad.”

(The department store manager has asked me to speak with the representative from the bank that’s frozen the card.)

Bank Rep: “So, I’m just going to explain this how it sounds to me, and you tell me what you think. You’ve shown up at this store to buy $1000 worth of gift cards, with someone else’s credit card. You have no proof that you are authorised to use this card. You have no ID, so even if you did have some kind of permission slip to use the card, the store can’t verify that it’s you who has permission. You’ve said it’s your dad’s card, but you can’t reach him… and there have already been three transactions on this card today which flag it as suspicious, regardless if you were legitimately allowed to use the card.”

Me: “Yeah. I see how that looks.”

(My dad finally called me back and spoke with the bank, as well as the department store. They agreed to hold the gift cards for him to come pick up later. I made sure I was with him when he came in, with my ID, to show the store manager. She was a good sport, and completely fair in how she treated the situation; it did look like I was trying to steal!)

A Potentially Explosive Incident

, , , , , , | Legal | September 16, 2018

(My husband and I are keen novice birdwatchers. It is spring, and one Sunday we are driving from pond to pond in a quiet rural area, looking at ducks from the roadside. We finish up for the day and start to head home. After a few minutes of driving, we come to a bunch of odd-looking trash scattered across the gravel road. We quickly stop, but not before driving over some of the debris and a certain distance beyond. It seems to be a good number of white, sausage-like objects. Curious, we use our binoculars to get a better look. A cardboard box in the ditch has a brand name and slogan on it that make us think this just might be a bunch of explosives! Since we have been counting ducks all day — and this is far more interesting than ducks — we carefully count how many sausages we see, and make a note of the number along with our bird-watching notes. Since we have no cell phone, we go to a nearby farmhouse and explain the situation. The farmer agrees to call the RCMP and tell them about this, and we head for home. The next morning, my husband phones the RCMP, as he has a question about the incident.)

Husband: “Hi, I’m the guy that found those explosives yesterday.”

RCMP: “What explosives?”

Husband: “The ones by the road in [Rural Area]?”

(After some initial skepticism and confusion, the RCMP finds the likely source of the explosives, a local supplier that sells that brand. There was only one weekend shipment, but we were nowhere near where it was supposed to go. The explosives are recovered from the roadside… but only half the amount that we noted seeing. The missing explosives are found on the property of the farmer we spoke to, and on the property of one of his friends. After a long day spent talking on the phone with the RCMP, my husband finally decides to call the explosives company with his question:)

Husband: “So, about those explosives. I’m just wondering, because I think I might have driven over some of them… Modern explosives are pretty safe, right?”

Explosives Manager: “Well, yeah, they’re pretty safe, but I wouldn’t want to drive over them!”

(The crew driving the explosives truck was fired that morning, and the explosives company was later hit with a hefty fine.)

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