Unable To Drive The Economics Of The Situation Home

, , , , , | Working | March 29, 2018

(My vehicle has just gone out of commission due to an accident, and relatives that I live with have a conflicting schedule with mine, so I can’t get a ride into work. I phone in explaining the situation. I live about ten minutes, highway time, out of town, but my job is on the outskirts.)

Me: “I won’t be able to make it in. My vehicle is still out of order, but I should have it good to go by tomorrow.”

Manager: “I really need you in for tonight, though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I literally have no means to show up for work. I’m phoning to hopefully give you as much notice as possible.”

Manager: “I can just send a taxi.”

(Taxis have special “out of town” fees, making it cost around $80 for each trip.)

Me: “You realise the price of the taxi, each way, is going to be almost as much as you’d be paying me for the day… Right?”

Manager: “What about it?”

Me: “At this point, it’d just be cheaper just to get somebody else. If you can give me triple my pay without batting an eye, all of us are being underpaid.”

Manager: “Well, it’ll be fine.”

Me: “I refuse to see double my pay be used just to bring me in. It’d be cheaper to get somebody to work overtime or get somebody else.”

Manager: “So, you’re not coming in?”

What Calls Around Comes Around

, , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2018

(I work in fast food, which means health codes. A big one being, simply put, if you are sick, you can’t work with food. Needless to say, when I get sick one day, I phone in accordingly.)

Manager #1: “All right, I’ll find somebody to cover your shift. Get some rest.”

Me: *very drowsy, and barely able to talk through fits of coughing* “Will do.”

(About ten minutes later I get a phone call.)

Manager #2: “Hey, would I be able to ask you to work later today? Somebody from [Our Location] phoned in sick.”

Me: *long pause* “Was it [My Name]?”

Manager #2: “Uh… Yeah. How did you know?”

Me: “Because I’m the one who phoned in sick.”

Manager #2: “OH! I had names mixed up. Sorry. Well, get some rest.”

(We had a good chuckle, once I got better, about how I got phoned in to cover my own sick day.)

Turning The Coding System Upside Down

, , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2018

(At our store we have radios almost all of the staff use for quick communication, as well as codes for certain things. For reference, a “29” is the code for, “Need change for the cash drawer.”)

Coworker #1: “Hey, can I get a 69, please? I really need some fives.”

(At this point, half of the staff are laughing, but nobody corrects her, and she gets her change. The next day, however…)

Coworker #1: “Hey, I need a 69. Running low on tens.”

Coworker #2: *laughing between words* “Wow, are you really that desperate for money?”

Coworker #1: “What? What do you… Oh, my gosh. What did I say?”

Can You Please Shut Your/The/A Mouth?

, , , , , | Working | March 23, 2018

(I start work at four am, and the only coffee place open at that hour in my town is at the gas station. I don’t know why, but the clerk at four am always likes to play grammar games.)

Me: “Can I have my receipt, please?”

Clerk: “It’s my receipt. It’s not your receipt until I give it to you.”

Me: “Whatever. Can I have the receipt?”

Clerk: “I can give you a receipt. If you want the receipt, you need to be specific.”  

(It’s not worth it anymore. I just head into work a little earlier and make my own coffee now.)

That Sale Tanked

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2018

(I used to breed reptiles on a small scale and sell supplies on the side from my home, but I have closed that business down. I still have the same cell number that was used for those listings. A guy calls looking for a fish tank while I’m lounging in bed with coffee.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any. Can I ask where you got this number?”

Caller: “Online, under pet stores.”

Me: “Okay, thank you. Sorry, but I closed my business two years ago. You can try the [Animal Clinic], though.”

Caller: “Where else can I get a tank? “

Me: “[Animal Clinic]. They are also a pet store.”

Caller: “How much? “

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know. You’ll have to go look.”

Caller: “Where is it?”

Me: “Do you know where the [Landmark] is?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “I’m not sure of the exact address; I just know how to get there. It might be best just to look up the address.”

Caller: “Okay, what is the address?”

Me: “I don’t know. You’ll have to look it up.”

Caller: “How?”

Me: “Same way you found me. I’m sure Google will help.”

Caller: “What about [Store]? Do they have tanks?”

Me: “Um. Maybe. I’m not sure. You’ll have to go look.”

Caller: “I don’t want to drive into town for nothing.”

Me: *snorts out a laugh* “Okay, but I can’t help you.”

Caller: “Thank you for good customer service.” *hangs up*

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