Not All Compliments Are Just Fluff

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2018

(I’m a young woman with short hair that I wear spiked up. Today I’ve been helping a woman who is a beginner sewist with various questions. I’ve been showing her where the fabric she wants is in the store, helping her choose between sewing patterns, telling her young daughter where the bathrooms are, helping her figure out how much fabric she needs, and finally cutting her fabric.)

Me: “Will that be all for today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, and now I know who to look for when I come in next: the lady with the fluffy chicken hair!”

(Best compliment I’ve ever gotten on the job.)

What A Niece Thing To Do

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2018

(It is back-to-school time and I am working in the kids’ section of a major retailer, when a woman approaches the register with an armful of girls’ clothes.)

Customer: “I need to ring these up in batches, because I’m on a tight budget.”

Me: “No problem! It’s hard when the kids are going back to school and need new clothes.”

Customer: “Well… These are for my niece. My brother was laid off, and he can’t afford to buy her school clothes, so I want to help them.”

Me: “Oh, that’s wonderful!”

(I finished ringing in all the clothes, a few at a time, and talked with a coworker to figure out the best discount we would be able to give. She only had to put one outfit back, and left happy. A little girl in a tough situation got new clothes, and I got reminded that sometimes the customer is all right.)

Unfiltered Story #100610

, , | Unfiltered | November 25, 2017

(While clocking into work, I unexpectedly suffer a stroke. I am a 35 year old school bus driver and I do not take illegal drugs or drink alcohol. As the EMTs bring me into the ER, the doctor asks what is my condition.)
EMT: She’s having a stroke.
Doctor: Nonsense. She’s too young. How old is she?
EMT: 35.
Doctor: See, too young. Must be a drug overdose.
EMT: No, do the FAST test. Face- her smile is crooked. Arms- her left side is paralyzed. Speech- her words are slurred. Time- we got her here in time. Give her clot busters to break up the blood clot causing her stroke.
Doctor (angrily): You’re just an EMT! I say it’s a drug overdose! (EMTs leave.)
Doctor (to me) yells: What drugs did you take?!
Me (slurred because left side of face & tongue are not working): I can hear you fine, you don’t have to yell. I took some Nyquil last night for a cold.
Doctor (sarcastically):Nyquil?! More like Meth! (to nurse)I need a meth overdose kit here!
Me (trying to yell back at him): I. Don’t. Take. Drugs.
Nurse:(reluctantly bringing kit) Are you sure? She shows classic stroke signs.
*As the doctor gets an overdose injection ready my husband enters the room, having met & talked to the EMTs in the ambulance bay as they were leaving.*
Husband: Stop. Don’t touch her again.
Doctor (sputtering): She’s obviously a drug addict. I’m giving her the best treatment for that.
Husband: And you’re obviously an idiot.
*Husband & doctor are circling my gurney during this exchange. The doctor is trying to stay out of my husband’s reach.*
Husband (to nurse): Please call for an ambulance, I want her treated at (Hospital 10 miles away). Not by him (points at doctor).
*Doctor practically sprints from room.*
Nurse (to husband): I thought you were gonna kill him. I kind of wish you had caught him.
*The same EMTs return, as they’re loading me into the ambulance they tell my husband that they told that doctor I was having a stroke, but he’s kind of a know it all a*****e & they were glad I would be treated somewhere else.
I am greeted at the other ER by a neurologist with clot busting drugs at the door. He says that luckily that delay won’t impact my recovery.*

Wipe Away All The Anger

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 1, 2017

(I’m standing in line at the grocery store. Behind me is woman with a little girl of about five or six. The woman is talking on her cell phone, and the little girl is listening intently.)

Woman: *angrily into phone* “That really chaps my a**!”

Little Girl: *matter-of-factly* “That won’t happen if you wipe!”

(I met the eyes of the amused cashier and burst out laughing.)

Should Have Stolen Some Military Intelligence

, , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2013

(I’m working at the service desk of a large retailer when I’m called into the security office by the asset control associate while he detains and questions a female who was caught shoplifting. I walk in and the woman is obviously in her early 20s. She’s sitting there trying to force out the most fake sobbing I’ve ever seen. Her boyfriend has come in to support her, but at the moment he has to wait outside the room.)

Coworker: “All right, well, the police are on the way and the store manager is on her way up—”

Shoplifter: “No! Please! You can’t do this! I can pay for the stuff!”

Coworker: “Miss, you tried stealing $300 worth of electronics.”

Shoplifter: “No, you don’t get it! I can pay for it! I was just… I wasn’t thinking! I’ve been really stressed!”

Coworker: “Stressed enough to try and walk out the front door with groceries covering a Blu-ray player?”

Shoplifter: “Please! I can pay!”

Coworker: “You had a chance to pay for it when you went through the cash register to pay for your groceries, and you had a chance to pay for it when you walked through the store again, picked it up, and walked right by MORE registers to leave with it.”

Shoplifter: “I just… You’re wearing dog tags, right?! What military branch?”

Coworker: “Marines.”

Shoplifter: “Please! My boyfriend is a marine, too! He just got back from Afghanistan!”

Coworker: “Really?”

(My coworker stands up, opens the door, and looks to her boyfriend who is still standing there waiting.)

Coworker: “Hey, what military branch are you in?”

Boyfriend: “Huh? I just finished boot camp for Air Force.”

Coworker: “Thanks.”

(My coworker shuts the door, and stares at the shoplifter accusingly.)

Coworker: “Air Force boot camp? Really? That’s cheap, miss.”

Shoplifter: “SAME THING!”

Coworker & Me: “It really isn’t.”

Shoplifter: “You guys suck! This is so stupid! Let me pay for it! Don’t call the cops! Please!”

Coworker: “Too late. Speaking of the police, your chariot awaits.”

(The store manager decided to press charges as it turned out she’d stolen from other stores in the area.)

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