Thin Mints Know No Gender

, , , , , | Learning | April 19, 2019

A few years ago, I took my turn one week as the “mystery reader” for my daughter’s first-grade class. After reading to the children, I gave them two boxes of Girl Scout cookies to share.

One boy’s bottom lip began to quiver and his eyes welled with tears. He asked in a small voice:

“Can boys have Girl Scout cookies?”

Just His (Red) Cross To Bear

, , , , , | Healthy | April 17, 2019

(For those who don’t know, there is a specialized blood donation process called apheresis. In this type of donation, the platelets are separated out of the bloodstream and collected, while the rest of the blood is returned to the body. It takes longer than a regular whole blood donation but can be done more often so people can give more. The phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from the American Red Cross calling to speak to [Husband] about scheduling an apheresis appointment.”

Me: *calling out* “[Husband], it’s the Red Cross. They want to suck your blood!”

Caller: “No, just his platelets…”

Othar, Friend Of Boris, First Of His Name

, , , , , , | Working | February 18, 2019

(Our crew is doing the finicky task of sticking plant cuttings in soil. [Coworker #1] drops one, leans down to pick it up, and bumps his head on the table.)

Coworker #2: “Do you remember your name?”

Coworker #1: “Why, I’m Othar Tryggvassen, gentleman adventurer!”

The IT Guy Went Above And Beyond

, , , , , , | Working | January 4, 2019

A coworker was getting married, so everyone in the office pitched in to get gift cards for him and his new wife. As the big day approached, I gave the money we had collected to the coworkers’ boss, an IT guy with his head in the clouds, with clear instructions to buy gift cards to Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

We took the coworker out for drinks a few days before his wedding and presented him with his gift. I couldn’t understand a puzzled look on his face until I realized that his boss had gotten him $200 worth of gift cards to Bath and Body Works.

Close… but so far away.

Unfiltered Story #135112

, , , | Unfiltered | December 28, 2018

(I work in a large department store that has their own credit card. You can open cards and make payments in the store, but if you have any problems you need to go online or call the credit customer service number.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I have a $2 charge on my card and I don’t know what it’s for. I always pay my bill in full and it doesn’t make any sense.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that but I can’t do anything about the charge. You would need to call the number for credit customer service. It’s on the back of your card.”

Customer: “I already called them a few times and they said they took off the charge but it’s still there. I’m going on vacation so I’m just going to pay it now and deal with it later.”

(I start going through the process to make a payment and she continues going on about the $2 charge.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what this is for. I always pay my bill in full each month.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that I don’t know what the charge is for. I agree it doesn’t make sense.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous I shouldn’t have a charge like this on my card.”

Me: “I’m really sorry I don’t know what it’s for.”

(We go on like that a few more times before this final statement.)

Customer: (condescendingly) “Well I have two degrees and this just doesn’t make any sense to me.”

(I was finishing up my Master’s at the time and was instantly irate. I had been agreeing with her this whole time and then she says something like this. Whether or not you have a degree has no bearing on your intelligence. Apparently it does make some people absolute jerks though. I just finished the transaction as quickly as possible and tried to be polite and cheerful as I wished her a great day.)

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