Unfiltered Story #127614

, , | Unfiltered | November 24, 2018

While working on a cable television issue with this customer, I discover she has a poor signal that a field technician would be required to fix. It’s very busy at this time of year, so we’re 3 days out. After providing her the times available, she responds with “Well who’s gonna watch my kids?!” Apparently she forgot that SHE was the parent, not the TV.

Unfiltered Story #127585

, , | Unfiltered | November 23, 2018

Customer calls in having trouble ordering a new movie on Video On Demand for the children she’s watching at her daycare. When it’s revealed that her account balance is preventing her from ordering more, I inquired as to which movie she was watching as there may be another option that she may be able to use. She was trying to order “American Reunion” for children to watch.

Unfiltered Story #124472

, , , | Unfiltered | October 24, 2018

(I worked as an expediter at a famous chain restaurant. Guests can request fries to be salt-free if they have an allergy.)

Server: Hey I need you guys to make this pound of fries no-salt. She says she has allergies.

Me: Can you find out what her allergy is?

(Server leaves then returns smirking)

Server: She says the doctor disgnosed her with SEASONAL allergies. So no seasoning on any of her food.

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I Got 192 Billion Problems And You’re All Of Them

, , , , | Working | October 9, 2018

(I work in the help desk for a fairly large corporation, and it’s routine that we get people’s IP addresses from them so we can log in to their machines and troubleshoot the issue. The IP addresses come out as four three-digit numbers [192.168.172.X] and I already know the first three numbers because all of our IP addresses start with the same three number groups [octets].)

Me: *mid-call* “…so click start, then run.”

Coworker: “Okay.”

Me: “Press enter, then type in IPCONFIG.”

Coworker: “Okay.”

Me: “That will show you an IP address of 192 dot 168 dot 100 dot something. I need the last part.”

Coworker: *silence*

Me: “Still there?”

Coworker: “Hold on.”

Me: “I just need the last part.”

Coworker: “Hold on.”

Me: “Okay.”

Coworker: *sighs* “One hundred and ninety-two billion, one hundred and sixty-eight million, one hundred and seventy-two thousand, two hundred and thirteen.”

Me: “Um, I just needed the last part.”

Coworker: “Then why didn’t you say that?”

Me: “I did. Also, those are periods, not commas.”

Coworker: “Oh.”

(The call went smoothly after that.)

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Unfiltered Story #118175

, | Unfiltered | August 9, 2018

I’m the prank caller in this story. My brother-in-law and I were roommates in college and did some part-time photography and darkroom work. Several years after graduation, he’s the owner of a photo processing center. I hadn’t talked to him in a while, so I give a call.

BiL: Hello, [photo center], how can I help you?

Me: [faking an old man’s voice] Hi, I’d like to get some pictures printed.

BiL: Certainly, sir, we can do that for you.

Me: I’d like some color pictures of some old negatives I have.

BiL: [Sensing trouble] Old?

Me: Yes, they are old black and white negatives.

BiL: Sir, we can’t make color pictures from black and white negatives.

Me: Why not? It’s color paper, right?

BiL: Well, it doesn’t work that way.

Me: [voice returning to normal] Well, you should learn not to take prank calls from your brother-in-law.

BiL: Hah. Figures.

Me: Do you get questions that odd?

BiL: You don’t know the half of it! Yours was hardly the strangest request I’ve gotten.

I really should get him to read this site. He can add the other stories.