Their Cable Has Daddy Issues

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2020

I work at a satellite TV company. I take a call from a customer who can’t be more than about eight years old.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Satellite TV Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, um, we can’t watch TV. It says, ‘Searching for signal.’ My parents don’t really speak English, so they asked me to call.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to try to help you fix that. Did anything happen to your dish that would have caused it to move?”

Customer: “Well, my daddy hit it with a stick.”

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That Had Better Have Been A Really Good Sandwich

, , , , , | Working | September 21, 2020

I go to an international hamburger shop for a late lunch. The shop is basically empty, but after I place my order, it is several minutes before my order is ready, despite being a very simple order.

Rude Worker: *Laying down my tray* “We messed it up.”

She then turns and vanishes into the back before I can say anything. I assume her statement is an explanation for the delay and take my order to the table. However, when I open up my sandwich, I find that they had given me a burger rather than the chicken sandwich I ordered.

I go back to the counter and have to wait for a minute or two before the employee from before wanders out again.

Me: “Excuse me. You gave me the wrong sandwich.”

The rude worker stares blankly at me.

Me: *Holds up my receipt* “I ordered a [Chicken Sandwich] and this is a burger.”

Rude Worker: *Shrugs* “We mixed it up.”

Me: *Expectant pause* “So, can you fix it, please?”

The rude worker rolls her eyes before scooping up my tray, turning, and dumping the entire contents into a large trash can by the counter, and then walking off into the back.

Me: “Hey!”

No response. I wait for a few more minutes, calling out a couple more times, before a different worker walks out, looking a bit confused.

Helpful Worker: “Oh, have you been helped?”

Me: “No. I ordered earlier, but your coworker gave me the wrong item, and when I asked for the right item, she dumped the meal in the trash and ran off into the back.”

I hold out the receipt that I am still holding and point toward the trash can. The worker checks them both, a look of utter bafflement on her face.

Helpful Worker: “Oh. Well, I’ll get this made up for you right away.”

In just over a minute, I have my meal and am headed back to my seat. The rude worker comes back out and apparently decides she needs the last word.

Rude Worker: *Almost shouting* “Are you happy now?!”

Helpful Worker: “[Rude Worker]! What the h***?!”

I ended up just picking up the meal and leaving the restaurant to eat elsewhere.

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The Tide Pod Has Turned, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 17, 2020

I’m standing behind this gem in line.

Cashier: “Did you find everything all right today, sir?”

Customer: *High-pitched mimicking* “’Did you find everything all right?’”

The customer scoffs.

Customer: “NO! You a**holes always do this! You falsely advertise an item you never have in store!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir; what didn’t you find?”

Customer: “[Brand] laundry detergent.”

There’s a huge display of it right by the register.

Cashier: “Oh, actually, sir, I can help. We have a display—”

Customer: “No, you don’t. I searched this whole d*** store!”

Cashier: “Sir, if you’d just look—”

Customer: “NO! Shut up, you stupid b****, and do your d*** job! Stop falsely advertising s*** you don’t have!”

The customer turns to me.

Customer: “Can you believe this bulls***?”

Me: “I can’t believe a full-grown man is having a temper tantrum over laundry detergent that’s literally three feet away from him, which he’d have known if he hadn’t been such an a**hole when the cashier was trying to help him. Pay for your stuff and go; some of us have better things to do than verbally abuse the cashier.”

The customer turns bright red, pays, and storms out.

Me: “How many times has that happened since the sale started?”

Cashier: *Exhausted* “So many times.”

The Tide Pod Has Turned

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A Good Flavor Of Customer

, , , , | Right | September 15, 2020

My friend and I have come to a local Italian ice shop after a morning of ultimate frisbee. The shop is known for its extensive list of flavors that changes daily.

Friend: “Hi. I have a proposition for you. Can I have a medium Italian ice with every flavor?”

Me: “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

The employee’s eyes get huge.

Employee: “I can do my best.”

The employee tops off my friend’s order with all eleven flavors for the day, each with an equal scoop.

Employee: “It’s a little messy, but here you are, sir!”

Friend: “This is awesome. You guys don’t have name tags. What’s your name?”

Employee: “It’s [Employee].”

Friend: “Well, thank you, [Employee]. You’ve truly made my day with this.”

He then tipped the employee half the cost of his ice, and we continued on our way.

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A Chip And Spin Tale

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2020

This story takes place several years ago, before our store is able to switch over the POS to accept the chip on debit/credit cards. Every cash register has several layers of tape over the chip slot, a small sign saying, “No chip reader,” on the machine, and the screen of the machine says, “Please SLIDE card,” with the word slide actually being in all caps. Of course, this doesn’t stop people from still attempting to insert their cards. But this one lady takes the cake.

She is attempting to insert her card, but the tape is stopping her, of course. 

Me: “Ma’am, you actually have to slide your card here; our systems just aren’t set up to accept chip payments yet.”

Customer: “Well, my card has a chip and I use the chip everywhere else I pay. I don’t see why I can’t just use it the same way here. This is stupid and just confusing. How was I supposed to know that you can’t take the chip?”

Me: “I agree, ma’am, the process can be confusing. We tried to make it a little less confusing by blocking off the chip reader and posting a note saying we don’t accept chips. But if you will just slide your card right here for me, we can finish up your transaction.”

She then starts to peel the tape away from the chip reader in an attempt to insert her card.

Customer: “This is just all wrong. I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. Everywhere accepts these chips; it is an absolute law that all places of businesses have to accept the chip.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, that is not true. The law is more of a compliance issue that says that because we do not accept chip cards, if anything fraudulent happens then the non-compliant company is held liable for all charges instead of the credit card company. Our company is still a little behind, although I have heard that corporate does plan on implementing a new system soon that would be in compliance. However, if you want to purchase your items today, I’m going to have to ask you to remove your card from the chip slot and slide the magnetic strip on the back of your card, please.”

She finally attempts to swipe her card but does it so roughly that the machine swings around while she’s halfway through swiping causing an error. 

Me: “Ma’am, you’ll have to realize your card, please. The machine moved just a little bit which caused an error in processing.”

Customer: “No, I already swiped my card; you’re just attempting to steal my money.”

Me: “I can assure you, I would not risk losing my job just in an attempt to steal $15 from you. Also, I have no clue how to even do that, and lastly, your account is not charged until a receipt prints out. If you want, I can hold the machine steady for you while you slide your card again.”

She then proceeds to pull a $20 out of her wallet and fling it across the counter at me.

Customer: “Here, just take it in cash, and if I see money missing from my account later, I will be coming back up here and having a talk with your manager.”

Obviously, she never came back to speak with a manager.

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