Reading Badly Into This Situation

, , , , | Learning | October 21, 2019

(I am calling the county department of education to find some sort of toddler pre-K enrichment for my three-year-old son.)

Me: “I need to find something for him. He’s been reading since he was two-and-a-half.”

Them: “Stop teaching him; you are creating a problem for us!”

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As Thick As A Block

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

(I am in the computer lab at the help desk when a patron walks up from a computer to ask a question. This is edited for brevity; it actually took a few minutes to get this point across.)

Patron: “I have a question for you! Is there a password I can use to get around blocked sites?”

Me: “No. Only my boss and I can unblock sites. If the website block is a genuine false positive I can unblock it for you. Just let me know and I will check it.”

Patron: “Okay.” *wanders back to PC*

(Five minutes pass:)

Person: “Can you come and unblock this?”

Me: *saunters over and looks down at screen* “No. No, sir. I’m afraid I cannot unblock that.”

(The URL contained “XXX Dating.”)

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The Sound Of Reason

, , , , , | Working | September 15, 2019

(I work at a local chain of an international retail store. Recently, the store decided to put soundbars on display — a total of three — connected to our TV wall, and put the volume at an unnecessarily high input. The soundbars are so loud that we can’t hear phone calls clearly, hear our customers, or hear each other, which has led us to resort to shouting or using hand gestures to get across what we’re doing. It has given many of us headaches and decreased traffic in our department drastically. We’ve talked to multiple managers about this, including the new manager over our department who replaced the sweetest woman I’ve ever known. The new manager is a heartless woman who has only declined our pleading and even told us to turn UP the soundbars.)

Me: “Hey, [Assistant Manager], do you have a moment to talk?”

Assistant Manager: “Not really, but what’s up?”

Me: “Listen, the soundbars have to be turned down. They’re so obnoxiously loud that they’re giving us headaches and driving away customers. A guy tried to buy a phone plan but left because they were annoying him.”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, I can’t really do anything about that; that’d be your supervisors’ job. Besides, as far as I know, it’s a corporate decision, so…” *shrugs and rushes off*

(The next day I come in, which is after a corporate visit — a nutjob threatened the store — I notice the soundbars are significantly lower. They’re so low, I don’t notice them until two hours into my shift.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], do you hear that? I can actually think!”

Coworker: *laughs* “Yeah, corporate came in today and said they were way too loud, so we got to turn them down.”

(Sweet victory!)

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Unfiltered Story #163227

, , | Unfiltered | September 13, 2019

I work at a hardware store. We will accept returns if the customer has at least ONE of the following: their receipt, their rewards card, or their driver’s license.
It was raining outside and the store was really slow, when all of a sudden a lady comes flying through the door. I’m actually not a cashier, but I’ve been trained how to do returns and I just happened to be behind the counter collecting merchandise to return it to the sales floor.

Lady: I NEED TO EXCHANGE THESE STRING LIGHTS!
Me: OK sure, what’s wrong with them?
Lady: Well, my husband replaced the fuse in them and now they won’t work.
I stared at her for about 5 seconds and thought really? YOUR HUSBAND broke them and you want me to give you new ones? To try and avoid an argument, I just agreed to do it.
Me: Sure, go get another of the same off the shelf and I’ll process and exchange.
She comes back with another box and I start the transaction.
Me: Do you have your receipt?
Lady: No.
Me: Do you have your rewards card?
Lady: No.
Me: Then I’ll need to see your driver’s license.
Lady: I don’t have it. It’s raining, my husband dropped me off at the front door.
Me: I need at least one of those things to do an exchange.
Lady: Can’t you just take these back and let me have the new ones?
Me: No, I need a receipt, a rewards card, or an ID.
Lady: THIS IS BULLSHIT. It’s raining! You’re going to make me walk to the truck in the rain!?!?!?
Me: Well if you want to exchange the lights, I need one of those things from you.
Lady: BULLSHIT!
She slams her fists on the counter and storms out, which prompts 3 other employees to come over to me. I handed the head cashier everything and told her good luck!
(I went to go do what I was originally doing. I learned later that the lady cussed out 3 employees for making her go back to her truck in the rain. We were ALL in a bitter mood for a while after that.)

Unfiltered Story #162104

, , | Unfiltered | September 11, 2019

(I have recently gone through a fairly traumatic experience with an abusive boyfriend, and have taken up a temporary job at a fast food restaurant to keep my mind off the experience. Most of my coworkers, managers and supervisors know of it, and are sympathetic to me.)

Customer #1: Waitress!
Me: Just a sec. Alright, may I take your order?
Customer #1: I want a [order]. Oh and… mmmm… a piece of this! *he grabs my breast and squeezes it.*
(As he does this, my mind jumps back immediately to my past experience. Instinctively I yelp, slap his hand away and back up a few steps. )
Customer #1: Don’t be scared, baby. I’ll take care of you. *he stands up and reaches out*
(At this point I am completely out of my mind with terror, having flashbacks and a breakdown.)
Me: D-don’t come near me…
Customer #1: Oh, f**k it. Get over here, d**m b***h!
(He then grabs my arm, and begins to pull me out the door. I kick, squirm, punch, bite, anything, but he holds on. A few customers are already out of their seats, yelling for a manager, and a few are pulling the nasty customer away from me. )
Customer #1: What the h**k is wrong with your service! It’s godd**m terrible! I have a right mind to sue your f***ing a**es for this!
Customer #2: … Are you serious, dude? EVERYONE here saw you grab this poor girl and start feeling her up.
Customer #3: And I have a right mind to sue YOU for sexual harassment, you son of a b***h.
Manager (having just arrived on scene): What’s going on?
Customer #1: *jumps in before anyone has a chance to* This b***h was refusing me service, and she hit me!
Manager: What-
Customer #3: That was after he grabbed her boob and started dragging her away, and calling her names!
Manager: I’m calling the police. If it’s true, we have it all on CCTV.
Customer #1: What the f**k? You guys can’t-
(At this point, Customer #3 has had enough and punches the lights outta this guy. When police arrive, we find out he was also wanted for other cases of domestic violence! He was arrested on the spot.

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