I am the eldest of four grandchildren, and we all call our grandma Mawmaw, without fail. So, imagine the surprise when Mawmaw gets this call
Caller: “Hello, Grandmother, this is your grandson. I’m stuck in Virginia and need money to get home.”
Mawmaw: “Which grandchild are you?”
Caller: “The oldest.”
Mawmaw: “Well, that’s funny. I just got a text from you thanking me for your birthday present, along with a picture of you at home.”
(I do a lot of my shopping online from [Big Retailer]. They have started using third-party sellers like [Online Retailer] does. I order a 1500LM spotlight. When it is delivered I get a 500LM lantern. [Big Retailer] says to contact the third-party company for a refund. From the emails, it slowly becomes obvious this company is very shady.)
Me: “I was sent the wrong item and would like a refund.”
Company: “Thanks for your email and sorry for the inconvenience.
We are the third party on [Big Retailer]. Sorry, could you please kindly tell us how we can help you? Please don’t worry; we will provide solutions as you wish after we confirm the problem. We wish your kindly understanding and wait for your reply.
Regards.”
Me: “The spotlight I ordered didn’t come. I got a lantern of some kind that isn’t even a flashlight.”
Company: “Thanks for your letter.
Please don’t worry. Your request will be accepted. But could you kindly describe the problem in detail?
Have you received the item you ordered? Or have you received the wrong item? We will give you a response as soon as possible. Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
Me: “I did not receive the item I ordered. The wrong item was delivered. I don’t want a replacement. I want a refund. If you will email me a return address label I will gladly send the item back.”
Company: “Thanks for your letter and sorry for this inconvenience.
Please don’t worry; we will provide a good solution for you.
But could you kindly provide us a picture of the received item and the SKU label on the product packaging?
Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
Me: “Here are pictures of the box. There is no SKU label on the box that I see.”
Company: “Thanks for your letter. Please don’t worry.
The item you received is the same as advertised.
You could take it out and check if it is workable.
If you have any other problems, please feel free to contact us. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
Me: “No. The item is not as described. Not at all. Here are the two pictures side by side. The first pic is what I ordered. The second is what I received. Not the same thing. Not sure what the problem is but it’s not the same and I want a refund ASAP.”
Company: “Thanks for your calling and sorry for this inconvenience.
Please don’t worry; we will provide a good solution for you. But could you kindly provide us the picture of the received item and the SKU label on the product packaging? Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
Me: “I’ve already done this. I sent the email with the pictures of what I received and somebody emailed me back saying it was what I ordered. It was not. Sure, here are the pictures again. It is not the same thing and I want a refund ASAP. Best regards to you. Better when you refund my money.”
(I call [Big Retailer] customer service and read them all these emails. They refund my money. Then, I get another email.)
Company: “Thanks for your letter.
Could you kindly check if it is workable? If it is still workable, we would like to provide you a $3 refund as compensation. Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
Me: “You should have to send a full refund, not a $3 refund as compensation for something you did wrong! I have settled this matter with [Big Retailer]. I will add my online review to the many other negative reviews of your company.”
Company: “Thanks for your letter and sorry for this inconvenience.
We would like to provide you a $13 refund.
And you could keep the item.
Could you accept it?
Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
(I send another email. Here is proof that there is no way a person is reading these emails.)
Me: “Your offer is $13? Let me think about it. I think… no deal! As a struggling actor, I need all the breaks that I can get.
Looking forward to your letter. Not really.
Regards and Liberty Biberty to you.”
Company: “Thanks for your letter.
We have arranged a full refund to you. And you don’t need to return the item. It usually takes about three to five business days for the refund to appear on your credit/debit card. If you still haven’t received the refund that time, please ensure that five to seven business days have passed from the time that the refund was initiated. If you have any other problems, please feel free to contact us. Have a nice day.
Best regards.”
(I have my doubts they have any intention of sending a refund.)
(I just started working at a hardware store; I’ve been there for about three weeks or so. I’m ringing up an older woman, who’s speaking of how well I’m doing for just starting out. We’re at the end of her purchase, she’s swiped her card, and all she has to do is confirm the amount by hitting yes, but she presses no.)
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. I believe you hit no; could you swipe your card again?”
Customer: “Huh? What? Yeah, fine.”
(I hit F3 to reset the card reader. She swipes her card again, goes through the whole process, and hits no again.)
Me: “Ma’am, you’re hitting no again; you have to hit yes.”
Customer: “That’s what I’m doing!”
(I reset it. She does it again. This time, I run her through the entire process, even pointing out where yes is, but she hits no again. She’s starting to get angry.)
Customer: “Why won’t my card go through?!”
Me: “Because you keep pressing no, ma’am; yes is on the other side.”
(This goes on two more times and there’s a line forming. I’m about to reset the card reader, my finger is on F3, and she starts to take notice of me pressing F3 every time.)
Customer: “You must be canceling it! You’re new; you don’t know what you’re doing. Get someone else up here who knows better than you!”
(I am just staring at her silently. That’s when my head cashier, who’s been watching the entire time, comes in.)
Head Cashier: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”
Customer: “Yes! He keeps canceling my order! I demand someone who knows what they’re doing!”
(He lead her to the customer service desk, where she continued to press no on the card reader three or four more times, got frustrated, and left, promising never to come back.)
(I’m ringing up a couple and their son, who is about four years old. The boy keeps talking to me throughout the entire purchase. He’s very blunt and quite honestly hilarious.)
Boy: “What’s your name? You’re pretty!”
Me: “Aw, thank you! My name is [My Name].”
Boy: “That’s a weird name!”
Dad: *turns red* “No, son. Tell her it’s a beautiful name!”
Son: “It’s beautiful!”
(I didn’t even care. I was too busy laughing.)
(I’m ringing up a customer who has bought three T-bone steaks.)
Customer: “Wait. You’ve done something wrong. I only bought two steaks.”
(The steaks are priced differently because of different weights and each item on the screen has a different price.)
Me: “No, ma’am. You can check your bag. There are three steaks in there.”
Customer: “Well, I don’t know what exactly you did, but you need to take one of those steaks back right now!”
Me: “Are you saying… Nope, never mind. Yes, ma’am. I’ll put one back for you.”
