Using Black Ops To Get The Game

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I’m the manager on duty. I’m working in the back while my employee takes care of customers up front. It’s July but we’ve had a lot of people interested in reserving the new Call of Duty game that will be out in November.)

Employee: “This guy just called and wanted to know if we have Call of Duty: Black Ops 3. I told him it won’t be out until November.”

Me: “Okay.”

Employee: “Well, he asked if I’d sneak him a copy if he gave me $200.”

Me: “Seriously?”

Employee: “Yeah. I told him no, but he wants to talk to a manager.”

Me: “Wow. He’s seriously on hold for that? Wait, are you sure it’s not [Disgruntled Former Employee who’s prank called us before]?”

Employee: “I’m pretty sure it’s not him.”

Me: *picks up the phone* “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes. I was just talking to your associate, [Employee], and he told me that I could get Black Ops 3 if I gave him $200.”

Me: “I don’t believe at all that [Employee] would have said that. Besides, that game doesn’t come out until November.”

Customer: “Well, he said that he’d sell it to me for $200.”

Me: “I can assure you that he did not tell you that. Even if I hypothetically believed you, it doesn’t change the fact that the game will not be released until November and we won’t physically have it in the store until then. So, is there anything I can actually help you with?”

Customer: “Well, what if you sold me the game and I gave you $200?”

Me: “No. Absolutely not.”

Customer: “But I’d give you $200. No one has to know.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, [Employee] said he’d sell it to me. Just put him back on the phone and you can listen in secretly and you’ll see.”

Me: “That’s not going to happen. He didn’t tell you that, and we don’t even have the game.”

(The customer starts trying to interrupt me at this point, and so far I’ve stayed remarkably calm, but I’m starting to lose my patience.)

Me: “I really don’t have time for this, so if you have a real question or something that I can actually help you with, then please feel free to call back, but right now I’m done with this conversation.” *click*

No One Carts Away

, , , , , , , | Friendly | October 2, 2017

I’m sitting in my car outside a plaza, waiting on my friend who is shopping inside a grocery store. I hear a cart being wheeled towards me and look over to see a man, who I just saw walk out of the store with groceries, driving his car while simultaneously holding onto his cart and dragging it next to him.

He pulls up a ways in front of me, and I think he’s going to get out and walk the cart to the cart return in front of the store. Nope. He lets the cart go, in the middle of the road, and drives away.

I sit there in disbelief. If not for my child in the car I would go move it myself, but I see a couple walking up to the store and think that surely they’ll move it. Nope. They glance at it, grab a cart from the cart return, and go into the store. Another woman walks by, moves around the cart, and keeps walking towards the store. The automatic doors open and she promptly walks into the glass window next to the door.

Days later, I’m still wondering what the heck was going on with those people.

Hostile Beguile

, , , , , , , | Working | June 21, 2017

I work in a grocery store deli. We hire in a new employee, [Coworker #1], who seems nice enough and is a good worker. Three weeks later, on a Friday, [Coworker #1] calls in say she’s going to be late because she has to pick up her kids from school. It’s only the two of us closing the department that night, and the last person from the morning shift has to leave when she was meant to arrive. I shrug it off, figuring I can handle a little while alone.

A half hour passes and I start to get nervous, and slightly frustrated. In my few years of being at this job, no one has ever been this late. A total of fifty minutes passes before [Coworker #1] comes in.

In concern, slight panic, and mild frustration, I ask what caused her to be so late. She only says she had to pick up her kids and leaves the immediate area to clock in. Satisfied, I return to work and wait for her to come back.

A half hour passes and [Coworker #1] hasn’t entered the department since she arrived. I ask  [Coworker #2] from the prepared food department, who also can work the deli, to go look for her while I take care of the customers at the deli.

Eventually, [Coworker #2] comes back and says she can’t find [Coworker #1]; she’s nowhere in the back. We decide to flag down a manager and ask what to do. He uses the speaker system to call her back to the department. Ten minutes pass; no [Coworker #1]. The three of us conclude she has left the store and not told anyone. The manager says not to worry. [Coworker #2] thankfully has [Coworker #1]’s number, so she texts [Coworker #1]. [Coworker #1] does not respond for the rest of the night. [Coworker #2] decides to help me close during the last two hours of my shift, as closing the department is something one shouldn’t have to do alone. I ready myself to talk to her about this calmly tomorrow.

Tomorrow rolls around, and one of the Managers in Charge, who are manager when the official store manager is not around, calls me into her office along with the Union Representative. The MIC tells me that [Coworker #1] has filed a complaint against me, saying that my question had created a ‘hostile work environment’ and [Coworker #1] went home because of this and has not shown up for her morning shift that day. She gives me a talk about how much hiring people costs, gets my side of the story, tells me that this will go to corporate and a full investigation may ensue, and then sends me back to work. [Coworker #2] helps me calm down, as the conversation made me upset. I got in trouble for asking one simple, understandable question.

I still hang on to hope I can talk to [Coworker #1], as we’re scheduled to work together the next night, Sunday night. Our busiest day.

Surprise, surprise, [Coworker #1] doesn’t show, so she was officially fired for having two ‘no-call, no-shows’ during her first ninety days. I was a nervous wreck that I was going to close alone on the busiest day of the week. [Coworker #2] was working in prepared foods again that day and told me directly that she would help me close up, and did so. Despite all of this happening, I’m still confused. Which one of us was in the wrong?

A Clean Death

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2017

(I’m stocking when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, this is going to sound stupid, but you know how there are cleaners with ammonia in them? Can you buy just the ammonia and do you sell it?”

Me: “You absolutely can and we absolutely do.”

(I take her to chemicals and point out the ammonia.)

Customer: “Oh, thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome.” *joking while laughing* “Just don’t mix it with bleach.”

Customer: *looks at me wide eyed* “Why?”

Me: “Because you’ll create mustard gas and it will kill you.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(She stood there looking at the ammonia and I walked to the next aisle. Two seconds later she left without buying anything.)