Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Cracking The (Brief)case!

, , , , , , , | Legal | May 25, 2021

My father used to work for a company that made things like diapers and other such products. As such, they worked with what is known as super-absorbent. This is the stuff that actually absorbs and holds in the liquid. For anyone who has never seen super-absorbent in its raw form, it is basically a white granular powder, kind of like sugar.

One time, well before the increased security from 9/11, my dad’s boss was flying to a business conference. In his suitcase, he had several samples of super-absorbent to show. Unfortunately, while in the terminal, his suitcase was stolen.

If you have ever played with super-absorbent, or even seen what happens to a diaper in a pool, you’ll know that when it comes into contact with liquid: it turns into a gel and expands. It expands quite a bit, actually. So, if it were inside a confined space when that happened, like, say, inside someone’s sinus cavity…

The boss was able to retrieve his briefcase later from the police at the nearby hospital. He never did get his super-absorbent samples back, though.

This story is part of the Editors’ Choice 2021 roundup!

Read the next Editors’ Choice 2021 roundup story!

Read the Editors’ Choice 2021 roundup!

This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of May 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of May 2021 roundup!

The Situation Is Very Fluid

, , , | Right | May 17, 2021

This was a few years back but well after 9/11 and the extra measures put in place after the events. I was waiting in line for the security check and in front of me was a travel group, about thirty individuals, mostly elderly people. They were from a part of the country generally joked about as being slow. Now, it is wrong to treat people according to stereotypes, but sometimes… they just can’t help confirming it.

I belatedly realized I had a liquid lip gloss on me and started to doubt whether it would be considered a liquid or not. I decided to treat it as a liquid and put it separate from the rest of my luggage in a clear plastic bag as per regulations.

An older lady from the group asked me what I was doing and I explained my predicament.

Lady: “Oh, I have a bottle of water with me!”

Me: “You should put it in a separate bag, too. And they might confiscate it for being too much liquid.”

That was all duly indicated with large signs. She got a stubborn expression on her face.

Lady: “They’d better not confiscate my water! I need it in case I get thirsty! I also have my good potato knife with me, in case I have to skin an apple on the plane.”

I held my peace this time and let security do their job.

My remark about the liquid travelled through the group, but they all decided defiantly to hold onto their liquids. I kid you not, each and every member of the group had at least one item confiscated, being it liquids or sharp objects, and most of them wouldn’t give in without a fight. Apart from that, the majority had to be patted down because the metal detector gave an alarm.

I’m still unsure if my lip gloss was considered a liquid but I was the first to walk through without any confiscation and alarm.

A member of the security, frantically trying to keep an overview and prevent anyone giving him the slip, tried to stop me and guide me to the members of the group waiting to be patted down as his colleague told him I could go. I just smiled as he looked a bit dazed and surprised as well as a bit relieved.

Sadly, This Is Very Regular

, , , , | Right | May 6, 2021

I’m working at an airport café.

Me: “We have Swiss, American, and pepper jack cheese. Which would you like?”

Customers: “Oh, just regular.”

Me: “All right, and how would you like your eggs?”

Customers: “Just regular eggs is fine.”

Me: “All right, and that comes with toast. Would you like wheat or white?”

Customer: “What’s wheat or white? Just regular toast is fine.”

Cargo Too Precious For The Cargo Hold

, , , , , | Working | May 5, 2021

My company does computer forensics. We go through the metadata on a computer to find “fingerprints.” It lets us identify who did what. If you’ve ever read a police case where something was found on the criminal’s computer and used to convict them, that’s us. But it’s also very technical and tricky because we need to prove it was the criminal who used the computer and what specifically they did. “It’s obvious” isn’t good enough.

What that means is that defence lawyers love to find ways to invalidate our evidence. We can’t prove the evidence wasn’t tampered with before we looked at it. For this reason, when transporting the evidence, we cannot let it out of our sight. If the computer has potentially been touched by another person, it can no longer be used as evidence. You don’t want to have to throw out a conviction on a technicality like that.

Anyhow. To the flight attendant who said, “I’m putting this on Not Always Right,” when I told her the second plane ticket was for the computer and that I couldn’t put it in the overhead luggage: that’s why.

A Battery Of Smugness

, , , , , | Right | May 3, 2021

I am the “disrupted operations supervisor” for my airline, dealing with delays, cancellations, and disruptive passengers. I’m called to escort a passenger to the luggage claim because his bag is vibrating, and the police want to speak with him.

The officer opens the bag in front of him and removes a battery-operated shaving machine.

Officer: “Sir, do you know it’s illegal to carry batteries in your hold luggage?”

Passenger: “No, I didn’t.”

Then he turns to me and asks:

Passenger: “How are you going to fix this?”

Me: “Well, either you remove the battery or you carry it in your hand.”

Passenger: *Yelling* “The battery can’t be removed, you moron! And I’m not taking nothing in my hands.” *Smirking* “So, how are you going to fix it?”

I signal the officer to stand down and answer.

Me: “Sir, please there’s no need for that. In this case, the item will have to stay behind unless you’re willing to reconsider.”

Passenger: “H*** no. You’re not keeping it and I won’t carry it in my hand.” *Smirking again* “So, how are you going to fix it?”

I repeat myself and he repeats his question.

Me: “Sir, I don’t have time for this.”

I put the item in the destruction bin.

Me: “Please proceed to the boarding gate and have a nice flight.”

As I’m turning away, the police start to escort him back to the boarding lounge.

Passenger: “I guess I’ll just borrow my friend’s machine from his bag.”

The cops stopped and led him into the police station. The airport called his friend and removed his bags from the plane, causing a ten-minute delay. They were issued fines and lost their flight.