Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Periodically Asking Funny Questions

, , , | Related | November 21, 2013

(I am waiting in line for the women’s bathroom with my mother. I start to examine a tampon and sanitary napkin vendor set in the wall. I am about seven years old.)

Me: “Mom, does anyone ever use these?”

Mom: “Hmm, probably. Why?”

Me: “I just don’t understand why anyone would pay 25 cents for a napkin when the paper towels are right over there!”

(Every woman within earshot cracked up, not that I understood why!)

The Real Government Would Take Your Money

| Right | October 15, 2013

(I work at a federal airport operations center, answering the phones.)

Me: “This is the TSA Coordination Center for [Airport]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “This is the federal government calling to tell you that you’ve won a $5000 dollar grant.”

Me: “The federal government?”

Caller: “Yes, you’ve won a $5000 dollar grant!”

Me: “This is the TSA coordination center; a government operated center. Who is this? What’s a good call-back number?”

Caller: *hangs up*

(The phone line for the next number in sequence starts ringing. Guess who it was?)

Needs Medicine (Breaking) Bad

| Romantic | October 14, 2013

(My wife is flying to Rome on business, and hasn’t been feeling great. She takes medicine to clear her sinuses before her flight.)

Wife: “Man, the real Sudafed has made me slightly jittery. It has, however, cleared my head RIGHT OUT. So I’m grateful.”

Me: “Good, especially right before a flight. I hope the Sudafed will make it through customs.”

Wife: “Oh, it’s fine. It’s perfectly legal and over-the-counter in Europe.”

Me: “Ah, yes, they don’t make crystal meth.”

Wife: “I think meth is a particularly American drug.”

Me: “So now we have jazz and meth as purely American things!”

Wife: “America #1!”

A Better Cliché, A Better Day

| Right | October 11, 2013

(I am helping a customer adjust his shuttle reservation. I am having a horrible day; I am not feeling well, so my mood isn’t good but I don’t let it affect my inclination to help customers.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’re all set.”

Customer: *happily* “Oh, bless your heart! Peace be with you, and all that s***!”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Customer: “I hope you have a better day, and not just because of me!”

Profound Sound

| Related | September 12, 2013

(My stepbrother has just gotten married. My sister and I, along with our respective boyfriends, are in the airport waiting for our flights back home. I haven’t slept well the night before, and am now barely conscious, so I’m napping on one of the airport couches. My sister is chatting with her boyfriend when I feel the need to interject.)

Me: *rudely* “Bleeeeeekh!”

Sister’s Boyfriend: “Hey, she makes weird noises, too. You really ARE sisters!”