This Passenger Has Baggage

| Chicago, IL, USA | Friendly | May 4, 2017

(My mom, sister, and I are on a shuttle. There is only one vacant seat, which is occupied by a water bottle. My mom moves the bottle, and sits down.)

Woman: *sitting next to mom* “Could I have my water bottle back?”

Mom: “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were taking up two seats.”

Carry-On-And-Off-And-On

| TX, USA | Working | April 8, 2017

(I am flying back to college from my hometown. The security line at the airport is extremely long, spanning all the way across the airport terminal. After waiting for a very long time, I am at about the half-way point in the line.)

Airport Employee: “You! Your carry-on bag is too big!”

Me: “I know it looks like that, but I measured; it just meets the requirements.”

Airport Employee: “No, it’s too big. Go and measure it at the display.”

Me: *goes out of line and slips my bag into the display* “See, it fits fine.”

Airport Employee: “Fine, now go to the back of the line.”

Me: “But I’ve been waiting for so long! I just stepped out because you told me to!”

Airport Employee: “Doesn’t matter; go to the back of the line!”

(I go to the back of the line and finally get to the same point in the line where Airport Employee is harassing the other people in line about carry-on sizes.)

Airport Employee: “You! Your bag is too big! Get out of line and check it!”

Me: “No. We’ve already been through this. My bag is fine.”

Airport Employee: “No! It’s too big!”

(The employee continues to say stuff like this to me while I ignore her. She eventually moves on to other passengers. I finally get to the part where they check your ID and ticket before you go into the scanner area.)

Me: *hands ID and ticket to TSA Agent*

Agent: *looks at ID* “This isn’t you.”

Me: “Umm, yes it is. I have my hair pulled back and glasses on, but the face is the same.”

Agent: “This isn’t you.”

Me: “Why would I have a fake ID that says I am 19?”

Agent: *marks my ticket* “This ID is still fake.”

Me: *grabs ID and walks quickly to the scanner line hoping the agent won’t stop me and send me to the back of the line again*

To Them Immigrants Are A One-Way Street

| Los Cabos, Mexico | Right | March 30, 2017

(My friends and I are traveling to Cabo San Lucas for a bachelorette party at a resort. While on the plane, the flight attendants repeatedly make announcements to all the guests (both verbally walking down the halls and over the PA) that they have to fill out two forms in order to get through the international airport. One is for customs and one for immigration. They also state if we lose the bottom portion of our custom forms we will be fined $50 USD and if we do not fill out everything to completion we will be charged an additional $50 USD fee. They made these announcements for a good thirty minutes before we land. Upon arrival, we are all waiting in line for immigration. There is a middle-aged couple in front of me who I recognize was on the same flight as I was. They go up to the customs agent with a blank form.)

Customs Agent: “Excuse me, señor, señora, please step to the left and fill out your form before moving back to the line.”

Wife: “WHAT?! WHY DO WE HAVE TO FILL OUT THIS FORM? I’M NOT F****** FILLING IT OUT! I’M F****** AMERICAN! I’M NOT AN IMMIGRANT!”

Customs Agent: “Señora, we are in Mexico, not America; you will need to fill out the form and return to the line.”

Wife: “THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I REFUSE TO BE TREATED LIKE AN IMMIGRANT! I’M F****** AMERICAN! DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?!”

(The lady is causing such a ruckus that it is holding up the line, as every other customs agent and traveler has stopped what they are doing to stare. Someone several feet behind us in line shouts:)

Other Passenger: “For f*** sake, lady, move out of the way so the ones who paid attention can f****** leave!”

(Eventually her husband, who was silent the whole time, maneuvers her off to the left to fill out the form all the while she’s screaming about being an American and not needing to go through customs and how no one told her she was required to fill out the form. I thought that was the one and only idiot who wasn’t paying attention until the bride in our party came up to me several minutes later looking confused and saying “Hey, did you know you have to fill out the whole form?!”)

Barely Coping-Hagen

| Copenhagen, Denmark | Working | March 28, 2017

(I’m Malaysian and as such do not need a visa to visit the UK for up to three-months. I’m checking in for my flight from Copenhagen to London, just to transit through, and the lady behind the desk is very insistent that I need a visa.)

Me: “I’m Malaysian, and we do not need a visa to visit the UK for not longer than three months.”

Agent: “Hold on; I’m checking.” *speaks angrily and rapidly in Danish to a fellow agent*

Me: “Excuse me, but a quick check online will show that I don’t need a visa.”

Agent: “Shut up.” *waves finger in my face* “Don’t you tell me what to do. Don’t YOU f****** tell ME what to do.”

(Not being able to afford to run the risk of missing this flight I kept quiet but inside I was absolutely furious. I filed a complaint with the airline but never heard anything back. I was eventually allowed to board my flight but I am certainly avoiding this carrier from now onwards.)

Roll Twenty For Romantic Gesture

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Romantic | March 26, 2017

(My significant other and I are travelling together and have a three-hour layover in Minneapolis, to our chagrin. Nervous about the stricter carry-on policy of our next flight, he’s splitting up his things and I offer to throw some of his stuff in my carry-on. He hands me his binder for a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that he has been preparing for, which I am participating in. This is a very well-protected binder, as he has been preparing this campaign for many months, and it’s a running joke that I’ll steal its secrets when he is unaware.)

Me: “You’re giving me the secret binder of secrets!?”

Husband: “Well, yeah. I trust you.”

Me: *totally overwhelmed* “That’s… that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me!”

Husband: “There’s not a lot in there that would make sense out of context anyways.”

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