That Reasoning Doesn’t Fly

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work in a duty free shop and a customer wanting to buy a bottle of cognac comes to my register. All is well until I ask for his boarding pass.)

Me: “All right, sir, may I see your boarding pass?”

Customer #1: “No.”

Me: “Then you can’t buy this cognac.”

Customer #1: “Why not?”

Me: “Alcohol is a customs bonded item, and as such can only be bought by people leaving the country directly from this point. I need to see your boarding pass so I can make sure you are doing so.”

Customer #1: “But I am French.”

Me: “That does not mean you are leaving the country.”

Customer #1: “But this is an international airport.”

Me: “Domestic flights go out of this airport regularly.”

Customer #1: “Well, I won’t show you my boarding pass.”

Me: “Than you can’t buy the cognac.”

Customer #1: “But I want to.”

Me: “Then I need to see your boarding pass.”

Customer #1: “NO!”

(This goes on for five minutes and the customer leaves in a huff without his cognac. The lady behind him comes up toting a five pound bag of pretzel M&Ms, which, like all candy, is not bonded.)

Customer #2: “Um, I’m on a domestic flight to Phoenix. Can I buy these M&Ms?”

Me: “Sure. Candy isn’t bonded.”

Customer #2: “Okay.” *looks at the cognac* “After that last guy you might need some of that yourself.”

Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

, | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

(The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)

Putting The Scent Into Ascents

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(The x-ray operator sends me to search for an oversized liquid in a passenger’s carry on. She does the search required and finds an unopened bottle of 185 ml perfume.)

Coworker: “Unfortunately, ma’am, this liquid is over the size limit and cannot go past this point.”

Passenger: “That is not a liquid.”

Coworker: “What is it, then?”

Passenger: “It’s a scent.”

He’s Fully Armed

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, One-Liners, Technology, Tourists/Travel

(I am watching the walk-through metal detector when two teenagers line up to walk through. The first walks through. It doesn’t alarm and he gets excited. Then the second boy walks through…)

Me: “Okay, walk through.”

(The teenager walks through timidly then stops and stares at me.)

Me: “You’re good to go.”

(He then looks at his arms in astonishment.)

Teenager: “Wow, I’m surprised these guns didn’t set it off!”

Giving Her A Little Flight

| USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(It is 8 am on Thanksgiving morning, and I am at the airport to fly to my mom’s home in Michigan. This is my second flight with this airline. The last time, I had money on a card to pay for my luggage, but they said they only took cash. I go up to the ticket counter.)

Me: “Hello! I have a 9 am flight to Detroit.”

Worker: “Alright, your luggage fee comes up to $50. How would you like to pay for that?”

(I put my cash on the counter and smile.)

Worker: “I’m sorry, but we only take credit or debit cards. Do you want to bill this to the card you purchased your flight with?”

Me: “But the last time, they said I needed to pay in cash. I put money on the card specifically for the ticket. All I can do is pay in cash!”

Worker: “It’s fine. Just go. Happy Thanksgiving!”

(I tried to give her the cash multiple times, but she couldn’t accept it. To that worker, I am so very sorry for the mix up, but because of your kindness, I made it home in time to spend Thanksgiving with my family, and I will be eternally grateful for your kindness!)