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Time Is Of The Essence… Of Stupidity

, , , , , | Working | August 12, 2020

I am at the airport waiting for my flight, which is set to leave in an hour, let’s say 10:00 am. The flight takes an hour and a half, so I will be getting to my destination around 11:30 am.

All of us waiting for said flight are disappointed to hear an announcement that the flight has been cancelled. We all need to rebook on other flights.

I find a young attendant who is very excited to help me. 

“Oh, miss, I am sorry to tell you, but the next flight for that state isn’t until 4:00 pm, and it will take an hour and a half.”

“So, 5:30 pm,” I say. “That’s okay.”

I am one of those people who actually doesn’t mind a lot of downtime as it gives me an excuse to read, doodle, and write. Besides, this also gives me an excuse to splurge on a nice lunch at one of the fussier restaurants on the concourse that I have never tried because I am usually on a tight schedule.

Then, he says, “Oh, wait! I have a flight in forty-five minutes. Then you won’t have to wait and you can get to your destination sooner.”

Well, okay, if it gets me there sooner.

He proceeds to explain that the flight is actually going first to State B, where I will catch a different plane for State C, where there will be a lengthy layover, and finally, we will go to State A, my destination.

“And it will get you there at 7:00 pm!” he finishes with a big happy smile.

My stomach is twisted in knots.

“No,” I say, “that’s not for me. I’ll take the later flight.”

He looks like he might cry. “But you won’t have to wait here for almost five hours! You can leave now!

“And I will be in the air for almost seven hours, up and down, if I leave now. Thank you, but I would prefer to relax, wait for the later flight, and maybe have a nice meal. Please book me for the later flight.”

The Kindness Of Teleporting Old Ladies

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2020

Having just spent Christmas in British Columbia with my family, I am waiting for my flight back to the UK and decide to buy a British Columbia keyring as a tacky souvenir. There are two old ladies behind me in the queue.

Me: “Would you like to go ahead of me? Looks like you’re stocking up on souvenirs!”

They are carrying loads of stuff.

Ladies: “Oooooh, that’s very kind of you, dear; we always get carried away!”

Me: “No problem at all!”

We engage in minor chit chat while we wait about Christmas and our families, etc. At this point, my flight is called.

Me: “Oh, d***, that’s my flight! Oh, well, my keys are heavy enough as it is; I’ll leave it.”

Ladies: “Safe flight, dear. Nice talking to you.”

Off I run to catch my flight. I’m sitting in my seat on the plane and there’s a tap on my shoulder.

Lady: “After our little exchange, we thought you deserved a souvenir.”

She handed me the keyring they had bought for me! I thanked her profusely; it made my day! I can’t work out how two old ladies managed to get on the plane before me, though.


This story is part of our feel-good roundup for August 2020!

Read the next feel-good story here!

Read the feel-good August 2020 roundup!

Don’t They Know What Security Is For?

, , , | Right | August 6, 2020

I work airport security, and as a rule, everyone must be screened to go from the public area to the secure area. While I am out maintaining the exit to make sure no one walks in, an older woman with her adult family approaches me.

Passenger: “Excuse me? How do we get to the other side without going through security?”

Me: “Um. You can’t.”

Passenger: “What do you mean, we can’t? We don’t want to go through security; we just want to get to the other side.”

Me: “Right. You can’t. Everyone has to go through security to get on the other end of it.”

Passenger: *Huffing away* “Well, that’s just ridiculous!”

Flee Before Biker Santa Claus

, , , , , | Friendly | July 30, 2020

When I was in middle school, my mother moved from Florida to Vermont to live with my step-father. My parents worked out an arrangement where I would visit her over long school holidays several times a year, flying as an unaccompanied minor.

I am, and always have been, the sort of person who is happy to have random conversations with strangers, so I would end up with a “plane buddy” by the end of every flight.

One such temporary friend was a — presumably — nice middle-aged man with whom I had chatted back and forth with for the entire three-hour flight about nothing much at all. We were leaving the terminal and walking together towards the baggage claim when I spotted my step-dad at the terminal entrance waiting for me.

I happily pointed and said, “There’s my step-dad!”

But by the time I turned back around, my companion had vanished.

When I asked my step-dad what happened, he said he saw me pointing and the man with me took one look at him, turned pale as a sheet, and then fled the other way.

I should point out that my step-father is a massive man whose appearance is best described as “biker Santa Claus,” and he is twice as strong as he looks. I have no idea if that guy had any unsavory intentions or if he was just afraid he would be accused of such, but I did get a light scolding from my step-dad about being too trusting of random men in airports.

It Takes An A**hole To Know An A**hole

, , , , | Friendly | July 24, 2020

My brother and I are returning from vacation and are waiting for our luggage to come off the plane. We, like literally everyone else, are standing at the carousel where the luggage comes down. We happen to be standing at the end of the carousel closest to where people disembark, so there is a large crowd of people waiting and walking past.

Despite that, everyone is waiting patiently as the luggage begins to arrive. I even help an old woman whose luggage is stuck in a pile.

Then, as we’re waiting, I hear a man behind us say loudly:

Man: “Inconsiderate.”

Not realizing he is apparently talking about us, we continue waiting. A few seconds later:

Man: “I can’t believe how inconsiderate some people are. A**holes.”

He shoves me aside and stands where I was standing.

Me: “Hey!”

Man: “Well, if it’s okay for you to stand here and block everyone, it’s okay for me to do it, too!”

Me: “What?”

Man: “You’re just standing in everyone’s way, blocking it so only you can get your luggage!”

Brother: “It’s a carousel. You can stand anywhere and get your luggage.”

Man: “You guys are just inconsiderate a**holes. You’d better hope your luggage doesn’t go past me because I’m not getting out of the way for you.”

Me: “Okay, well, we’re going to go stand literally anywhere else because it’s a carousel and we can do that. This clearly means more to you.”

We went and stood on the other side while he continued to rant and steam about us. We actually wound up getting our luggage first because we’d moved closer to the start of the belt, and we got out of there before the security guards who were watching decided to get involved!