Run So Fast You’re Panting

| Chicago, IL, USA | Related | March 8, 2017

My son, husband, and I are traveling home after visiting family. Thanks to a delay in our first flight we have 15 minutes to get from one part of the airport to another, which means that we have to run with the hopes of catching it. This also means that my husband has one of my son’s hands, and I have the other. Keep in mind that my son is only four years old.

We are running along when we both notice the four-year-old is suddenly not moving as fast and is yelling about his pants. Turning to look, we both burst out laughing as we realize his pants have managed to fall down to his ankles. The poor little guy is waddling in an attempt to keep up with us even though his pants have fallen down.

Everybody around us just burst out laughing and now I have yet another story I can embarrass him with when he is older. Thankfully it didn’t happen again. We did miss our flight and had to wait another hour and a half in order to catch our next one. The lesson is to make sure the child has better fitting pants next time we have to make a mad dash through the airport.

Unfriendly Friend Requests

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Romantic | March 8, 2017

This happens when I am 18. I work the night shift at an airport. I am one of the people who gets off at 2:30 am and often walks out to my car on my own, despite my shift manager asking one of the guys to walk me out. He hates the younger female employees walking by themselves at night. I often listen to music on my way out.

I am heading to my car one night and am waved at by an older male employee cleaning the floors. I politely wave back, but see his mouth moving. I took out an earbud and say, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

He repeats himself. He is asking me if I have just started, says he has never seen me around, etc.

I politely make small talk, though my gut is screaming at me to get out of there. It is late at night, no one else is around, and I am only 18 and being suckered into a rather awkward conversation by someone old enough to be my dad.

The conversation turns personal. He starts asking if I have a boyfriend. I immediately shake my head no. He asks what kind of men I like. I say, “Actually, I– um, I’m not looking for a relationship.”

He looks disappointed but asks if I want to be friends with him. As I try to answer, he steps closer to me and says, “You know, I would really like to be your friend.”

I quickly stutter out an “um, I guess?” and make up an excuse as to why I have to high-tail it out of there.

As I walk away, I spare a glance over my shoulder. He is staring at me as I leave.

The second I knew he couldn’t see me, I sprinted to my car. I didn’t see him around work after that incident, but I can’t say I was too upset to have never seen him again!

Your Scam Tactics Need An Upgrade

, | Miami, FL, USA | Right | February 25, 2017

(I work at the counter to check in passengers and I get stupid people all the time but this one takes the cake.)

Me: “Welcome to [Airline]. How can I help?”

Passenger: “Yes, I like to check in to [Destination] and also I’d like to do an upgrade, I have a doctor’s note that says I have to fly in first or business class.”

(I smile and laugh a little because I thought he was joking around but I see how serious he is and doesn’t find my laughing amusing.)

Passenger: “I don’t know what’s so funny; I have doctor’s note, so be more professional and do your job.”

Me: *after hearing that I put on a serious face and then reply* “Okay, sir, I have an upgrade available for $389. How would you like to purchase that?”

Passenger: “Don’t you understand that I have a doctor’s note?”

Me: *still with a serious face* “Well, sir, is your insurance going to cover this upgrade?”

Passenger: *with a confused face* “No, my, insurance doesn’t cover that.”

Me: “Well then, sir, you are going to have to do it like the rest of the country and pay out of your pocket.”

When X-Ray Becomes Ultrasound

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Working | February 20, 2017

(I am on holiday in Vegas and going through final security with my bags when this bizarre incident happens. I am watching airport security as they start to look very concerned with my baggage and giving me very strange looks.)

Security Guard: “Excuse me, sir, can you come over here, please?”

Me: “Sure, is there something wrong?”

Security Guard: “You have a foetus in your bag.”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard him* “Sorry, I have a what in my bag?”

Security Guard: “You have a foetus in your bag… A foetus!”

Me: “No, I don’t! Have a look and see!”

Security Guard: “See! It’s there on the x-ray! Please open your bag!”

(It then dawned on me what this alleged foetus was… a big ceramic Kokopelli decoration which is a native American hunchbacked fertility symbol… I started laughing in incredulity as they looked very sheepish indeed and let me go through.)

Throw Me A Bone Here

| San Diego, CA, USA | Working | January 24, 2017

(I am 12, coming back from visiting my aunt by myself. I am flying from Chicago to San Diego on a direct flight. I am running late, so I have to rush through security. I own a husky; she loves bones and rope toys. Naturally, I bought her a bone and a rope toy to bring back. I put them both in my carry on, to save room in my checked bag. My bag gets pulled aside regarding a suspicious matter. He goes through it and pulls out the rawhide bone, still wrapped with a dog on the front label.)

Security: “We don’t allow food through security.”

Me: *calmly* “It’s a wrapped dog bone. Not opened. Nor is it human food.”

Security: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were going to eat it.”

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