More Likely To Fly With Honey Than Vinegar

| Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel

(My wife and I are at the airport to fly out on vacation. The weather has gotten bad, and every single flight in has been delayed. We are waiting in line to talk to a ticket agent about when our flight will be in. There’s a businessman in front of us.)

Agent: “I’m sorry, sir, but every flight in the airport is delayed. I can’t get you on anything sooner than two hours from now.”

Businessman: “That’s not acceptable! I’m very important!”

(This goes on for several minutes, and the businessman finally steps away from the agent’s counter in a huff.

My Wife: *stepping up to the agent* “On behalf of ourselves and the entire human population, I’d like to apologize for him!”

Agent: “That’s nice of you to say! Thank you!”

(We get our new flight information for a flight on our original airline. It’s about four hours after our flight was originally scheduled. We walk away from the counter. After about 30 seconds, we are paged back to the counter.)

Agent: “I’ve found you a flight on [Competitor’s Airline]. It leaves in about 1½ hours. Thanks again!”

(Just proves the old adage about catching more flies with honey than vinegar…)

If You Fail To Plan…

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Sir, in order for you to travel to Indonesia without a visa, you need to show proof to Immigration that you will leave the country within 90 days. Otherwise I would not be able to give you a boarding pass today.”

Passenger: “I might go to Vietnam or Singapore, but I’m not sure yet.”

Me: “Sir, is it possible that you buy a ticket now? To anywhere out of Indonesia.”

Passenger: “How am I supposed to buy a ticket when I don’t know where I’m going to?”

Me: “Sir, buying a ticket doesn’t mean you’re using it.”

Passenger: “But what date? I don’t even know when I will leave.”

Me: “Sir, you can buy a ticket with an open date or change the date later.”

Passenger: “Like I said, I don’t know when and where I’m going to leave Bali. I’m a person that doesn’t make plans!”

Delayed Reaction

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel

Passenger: “Why is there nobody to inform me about the delay?! I came all the way from San Francisco and now that I’m here you tell me there is a delay!”

Me: “Sir, some people sign up for email alert from the airport or the airlines for possible delays.”

Passenger: “Who are those ‘some people’?! I talked to everyone here! Nobody knew about the delay before!”

Me: “Sir, those people who have signed up and received an alert wouldn’t even bother to come to the airport. People are here because they did not sign up and did not know there is a delay.”

A Runway Runaway

| Louisburg, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a small airport in Louisburg. We don’t have many commercial planes fly in but when we do they are normal small bush planes with only a few people on board. We have had a runway problem and can’t let any planes take off today, as the runway is having work done.)

Pilot: “Excuse me, but why has my flight been canceled?”

Me: “We are having a problem with our runway and can’t take any flights today.”

Pilot: “Well, that’s bull-s***. I was just out there and it was fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry but as you can see…” *points out to runway with workers* “There are people working on it today.”

Pilot: “NO! I SEE NOTHING. NOW LET ME THROUGH TO GET TO MY PLANE!”

Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry but I cannot let you through. Can you please calm down; I will be able to get you in the air first thing tomorrow.”

Pilot: “No, I’ve had enough of you. Out of my WAY!”

(He then pushed me out of the way and onto the floor and started to walk over to the hanger. I scrambled to my feet and called the workers and my supervisor to tell them what was coming, and called the police. The other worker and I sprinted over to the hanger and managed to get the hanger door closed before he could start the plane. After a while the police came and took him away, as he was going to try and take off with people working on the runway!)

Their Travel Ability Is As Solid As Oak-land

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I am waiting to board my flight when over the intercom come a couple of announcements, calling a passenger who has gotten off their plane at the wrong airport. The last page comes as:)

Page: “[Name], please report back to gate [#]. You have gotten off at Oakland, not Orange County. It doesn’t look anything like Orange County.”

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