Back in 1980, my employer always sent us Business Class if we flew and First Class on trains and ferries. I was flying to Asia and was on the way back from the toilet when another passenger jumped up out of his seat and rushed off to find the flight attendant.

At the top of his voice, he started yelling at her.

Passenger: “That woman over there was breastfeeding in business class!”

The woman with her very small baby was being very discreet, and the attendant listened to this and refused to do anything about it.

The man made even more fuss until the chief attendant came back and told him in no uncertain terms that if didn’t like it, he could move into a spare seat in economy and get off at the next stop, which was something like Bombay. In those days of the early 747s, there was a refuelling stop on many long-haul flights.

After the chief attendant left, the passenger walked over and tried to grab the baby out of the mother’s arms!

Fortunately, I was close enough to get hold of the unruly wotsit, and I yelled for the cabin crew, who rapidly appeared and moved the passenger down to a rear seat in economy, despite all his complaining.

In thirty-five years of flying, I never met anyone as bad. He didn’t appear to get back on after the stop.

And the mother asked me to hold the baby while she went to the washroom.

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Breast To Just Support Her, Part 2
Breast To Just Support Her

On our flight, the only open seat on the whole plane is between me and the elderly man by the window. A forty-ish-year-old woman is seated in the middle of the row behind us. She taps me on the shoulder.

Woman: “Hey, trade seats with me.“

Me: “No, thanks.“

Woman: “Seriously? There’s one empty seat on the whole plane.“

Me: “Must be my lucky day, then.”

Elderly Man: “Our lucky day; we can have a party!”

Me: “Apple juice and peanuts for everyone!“

The elderly man smiles.

Woman: “B****!”

She leans back, making various comments the whole trip about how disrespectful and selfish I am. When we land, the people behind me flood the aisle. The flight attendant speaks over the loudspeaker.

Attendant: “Welcome to [City]. We understand you would like to leave, but we have not yet been cleared to open the doors. Please return to your seats and wait. Thank you for understanding.“

Woman: “Jesus Christ. Seriously?“

Attendant: “Ma’am, please sit down. We will be out of here as soon as possible.“

The elderly man and I exchange a glance but say nothing. We sit there for maybe ten minutes, the man happily looking out the window. The flight attendant announces that we are free to go, and I feel the woman behind me pull on the seats to stand. I get up and stand in the aisle.

Me: “Come on, sir.”

Elderly Man: “Are you sure?“

Me: “I don’t mind waiting.“

Woman: “Are you joking? You’re such a f****** b****!”

Me: “How about you sit down and be respectful and patient?”

The woman glares at me but doesn’t say anything else. The elderly man makes his way off the plane. At the front, we meet up with the flight attendant.

Attendant: “Have a good day. Thank you.”

Elderly Man: “This one—” *gestures to me* “—is nice.“

Attendant: “That’s lovely, sir.“

Elderly Man: “That one—” *gestures to the woman behind me* “—is lucky the other one didn’t sock her.“

Attendant: *Shocked* “Oh. Okay, sir. You… have a wonderful day.”

The attendant gave me a confused look, but I just smiled and shrugged.

I was on a direct flight from Los Angeles to Taiwan during the global health crisis, which is quite a long flight but was quite empty due to air traffic being almost nonexistent in 2020.

My mom flies so often for work that she usually manages to get upgrades to business class, which is what happened this time, as well. Because of how strict Taiwan was at the time (only allowing people with a visa or passport from Taiwan into Taiwan), the business class was also quite empty; there was maybe one other person besides us.

I draw a lot, and I was working on a particularly complicated piece when one of the flight attendants came by and asked if I wanted another bottle of water.

I’m consistently thirsty most of the time on planes, so I said yes and took it, though I felt bad because I assumed they thought I’d already drunk my other bottle of water and were offering another one for that reason.

It wasn’t until we were past customs that my mom noticed the extra bottle and asked me in confusion where I’d got it, having drunk hers and not received an extra. We pondered over it before she laughed and told me what had happened.

I apparently was so busy drawing that I never noticed the flight attendant standing just behind me slightly, watching me draw.

They apparently enjoyed watching enough to give me an extra water. We’re pretty sure this was the reason, as it didn’t seem like any of the other business class passengers got an extra water at any point.

I was flying on a budget airline. When I got on the plane, I was already surprised that they had something like elevator music playing lightly in the background as we all piled into the plane. I’d flown this airline many times before, and that was new. The music was off during the flight but was turned back on after we landed.

After we landed, the captain reported that we were so early that we had to wait until the plane at dock left before we could dock and unload.

Captain: “In the meantime, sit down, relax, and meditate to this relaxing music I’ve selected for you all.”

And the music came back on. A little while later…

Captain: “Breathe in, breathe out.”

A little later, in a completely serious pilot voice…

Captain: “Attention, passengers. We are now looking for volunteers to fly the plane next time we take off.”

A little later, as were unloading…

Captain: “Now, just to warn you, the last person to get off the plane has to help the staff to clean it.”

This captain was clearly having a bit too much fun on the intercom, but I can’t complain; most people seemed to laugh at and appreciate his antics. It was definitely a little more memorable than my usual flights.

My mom and I are on a flight from Austria to Finland. The flight has been delayed a couple of times due to unnamed technical problems.

At this point, I haven’t started learning German. Mom leaves the seat.

A few minutes later:

Pilot: “Passengers, please return to your seats for an announcement.” 

As Mom comes back, the pilot starts speaking quickly and we can’t catch most of what he says. Then, he switches to German, which neither of us understands.

It’s nighttime, and we have a transfer in Helsinki, and we remember the technical problems at the start, so we grow worried. What if something’s happened to the plane and we’ll now have to land — if not ditch, since we are somewhere above the Baltic right now?

Finally, Mom asks the passenger next to us what the announcement was about.

Passenger: “Oh. Today’s football match results.”