Should Be More Flight Attendant

| Working | July 16, 2016

(I am flying out of Chicago and, it has been a particularly bad day for flights, with many from Airline being closed for weather, despite all other airlines running smoothly. When I go to board I see this conversation between a flight attendant and a young kid:)

Kid: *waves hello wildly to flight attendant*

Flight Attendant: “Wow, you look happy to be flying. Most kids your age are scared!”

Kid: “No, I fly a lot. I’m excited!”

Flight Attendant: “Well, clearly you haven’t flown with [Airline] too often yet.”

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Sending Fraudsters A Clear Message

| Working | June 7, 2016

(I work for an airline online ticket sales back office. One of our duties is to profile online bookings in search of credit card scammers.)

Coworker: “This booking is a scam. I’m sure of it! It fits all the profiles!”

(Sure enough, the credit card used for the booking turned out to be a copied credit card.)

Coworker: “Here’s another one! And another! They are flooding in now! I’m sure these come from the same source. They all look the same!”

Me: “Can you handle it or do you need help?”

Coworker: “I don’t know. Let me see… Shoot, there are at least 20 of these! I gotta make them stop. I’ll send them an e-mail!”

Me: “You’re gonna do what?”

Coworker: “I’m gonna send them an e-mail”

Me: “Send who an e-mail?”

Coworker: “The scammers!”

Me: “How are you gonna send them an e-mail?”

Coworker: “There’s an e-mail address in these bookings!”

Me: “You really think that’s gonna work?”

Coworker: “Well, you don’t know if you don’t try! There, I wrote in it ‘Stop spamming us with these frauds’ and sent it!”

(We have a laugh together wishing it would really be this easy to fight the frauds and continue with our tasks. Then, less than 10 minutes later, we receive an e-mail to our team’s general e-mail.)

Coworker: “No way! It worked!”

Me: “What worked?”

Coworker: “The e-mail I sent to the fraudsters! We got a reply! It says: ‘Oh, ok :)’ and the frauds really stopped, too!”

(We printed that e-mail conversation out and pinned it to our message board. This is how you fight crime!)

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Just Ran Over (Very) Big Bird

| Right | March 16, 2016

(I am a flight attendant. Whilst turbulence sometimes happens, this flight was actually very smooth. One customer seems to think otherwise.)

Customer: *sounding slightly stressed* “Why is it so bumpy; it’s so very, very bumpy!”

Me: “Oh, we just ran over a bird.”

(Customer looked out of the window to try and spot the poor bird, even though we were at 35,000ft. I walked away before she worked it out…)

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Seat Location Scores A ‘D’

| Right | December 16, 2015

(I am a flight attendant and covering the rear doors on a large aircraft during boarding to help customers settle in. Seats are fairly simply set out using ABC-DEFG-HJK layout. A customer calls me from the far aisle.)

Customer: “Hey! Where’s 38E?”

Me: “The seats are in alphabetical, so ‘E’ would be that one.”

(I point and smile, counting through the alphabet so he can see exactly which seats are which.)

Customer: *pointing to 38D* “so is it this one?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, no. It’s the one next to it. There’s also a diagram of the row on the overhead locker with the seats’ letters.”

(The customer nods and begins to sit in the wrong seat so I help him by patting the correct seat over the aisle, by the time I get back to my door at the rear of the aircraft two gentlemen are laughing between themselves.)

Gentleman #1: “I think your explanation was idiot proof…”

Gentleman #2: “But obviously people check their brains with their luggage!”

Me: “I’m so glad I’m not the only one that sometimes thinks that!”

(Those gents made my flight and I made sure they got some extra bits for making a painful flight bearable!)

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That Doesn’t Fly With Me

| Working | November 29, 2015

(I am waiting at O’Hare Airport for my flight. The airline in question was and is notorious for labor problems and cancelling flights for no good reason.)

Airline Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your flight has been cancelled.”

Me: “Oh, NO! Not again! Why was it cancelled this time?”

Airline Employee: “Because of the bad weather outside.”

Me: *looks outside, sees a beautiful clear blue sky* “The… weather?”

Airline Employee: *looks back at me calmly* “That’s right. Our pilots can’t fly in this. It’s not safe!”

Me: “…”

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