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It’s Called A “Mute” Button

, , , , , | Right | January 21, 2024

Caller: “I want to cancel my husband’s flight.”

Me: “I can see that it was booked on our non-flex price, so we can’t refund you if—”

Caller: “But he’s dead!”

Me: “Oh! I am sorry to hear that. If you can send us a death certificate, we can refund that for you.”

Caller: “You’re calling me a liar?”

I’m about to respond, but then I hear the caller talking to a man in the background.

Caller: “No, honey, I’m talking to the airline, not you.”

Silence. 

Caller: “S***.” *Click*

You Offered To Help And Then… Zilch? Thanks.

, , , , , , , | Working | January 3, 2024

I have lots of stories from when I worked for an airline, but this one actually happened before then.

My daughter was fifteen in the late 1990s. She was very into playing soccer, and she was pretty good. So, one summer, she wanted to go to soccer camp in Florida, which was about 1,000 miles away. The price wasn’t bad for the week-long camp, and the airfare to get her there was pretty reasonable, so we paid for the camp and the airfare, and we arranged for the camp to pick her up and transport her from the Florida airport to the camp.

We took [Daughter] to the airport and checked her in at the desk. The agent saw that she was just fifteen and asked if we would like an airline worker to meet her in Philadelphia (where she had to change planes) and make sure she got to the correct gate. After asking [Daughter], we agreed this was a great idea. We took her to the gate (you could still do that back then), waved goodbye, and headed home.

Several hours later, we got a phone call from [Daughter].

Daughter: “I’m in Florida, but there was a mix-up in Philadelphia, so I got here two hours late and missed my transportation to [Camp].”

We panicked and called the camp and the airline — their fault this happened — and tried to figure out what else we could do.

Finally, [Daughter] called again.

Daughter: “I found a cab to take me to [Camp], and I have just enough money with me to pay for it, but I’ll need more money for the rest of the week.”

Us: “Okay. Take the cab, and we’ll send you some more money by [Shipping Company].”

She made it to the camp okay and had a good time.

Now for the fun airline part. As soon as [Daughter] called us from the airport, I got on the phone with the airline to complain. [Daughter] told us that no one met her in Philly, but she found her own way to the gate anyway. She heard her flight called and went to board, but the gate agent told her that it wasn’t her flight and her next flight was the next one. She took the agent’s word and went and sat back down to wait.

After a couple of hours, another flight was called. [Daughter] went to the gate and was allowed on. After boarding, it was announced that the plane was going to Puerto Rico — no mention of Florida. She asked a flight attendant, who confirmed that they weren’t going to Florida, so [Daughter] got back off the plane. She managed to get a new flight, but it was a couple of hours later, of course. That’s why she was so late to get her transport.

On the phone, I started loudly complaining about what had happened, and I asked the airline to refund everything. They absolutely refused, despite numerous phone calls and escalations. (These days, I probably would have sued, but I wasn’t the type to threaten that back then.)

In frustration, I finally asked for something that seemed very reasonable. On [Daughter]’s return trip, she was due to change planes at NYC’s LaGuardia airport. I asked if it was possible for her to get off and have her luggage taken off, as well, and we would pick her up there instead of her original destination. They said she could get off at LaGuardia, but her luggage would continue on. I spent more time trying to get them to change their mind, and I sent a lot of complaint letters, but nothing was ever done for us.

Fortunately, [Daughter]’s return went smoothly, and she had no trouble changing planes this time. When we met her flight, we were all relieved.

Lesson learned, though, about letting even fifteen-year-olds fly alone.

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 20

, , , , , , | Right | January 3, 2024

I work in a call center for an airline.

Caller: “My flight from New York to Hawaii leaves at 10:00 am and lands at 4:10 pm.”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

Caller: “But that’s, like, six hours. But it says my flight is over eleven hours!”

Me: “Yes, but remember the time zone change. The flight time is still eleven hours, but because of the time difference, you still only land later in the afternoon local to Hawaiian time.”

Caller: “But Hawaii is still in America!”

Me: “Hawaii is in the United States, yes, but since it’s also in the middle of the Pacific, its time zone is quite different from New York’s.”

Caller: “But all of America is in one time zone! One country, one time zone!”

Me: “That’s not true. There are four time zones alone in the contiguous United States.”

Caller: “No! ‘One nation under God, indivisible!’ Jesus said so!”

Oh, boy… 

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 19
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 18
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 17
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 16
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 15

If Only You Could Transfer The Concept Into Their Head

, , , , , | Right | December 1, 2023

I worked in reservations for a major airline. This was back in the mid-1990s, and the Internet was not really much of a thing yet. Airline tickets were still printed and mailed when you bought them. The only options were to buy them at the airport, through reservations, or through your travel agent.

I had a passenger who called to get the name changed on his ticket. He couldn’t take the trip, so he wanted his wife or someone else to take the trip instead.

Passenger: “I would like to change the name on my ticket.”

Me: “Do you see at the bottom of your ticket where it says ‘Non Transferable’? That applies here; you cannot transfer your ticket to another passenger.”

Passenger: “I don’t want to ‘transfer’ the ticket. I can’t take the trip, so I want [Person] to travel instead.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the name on the ticket has to stay the same. It is not possible to reissue the ticket with a new name and transfer it to another traveler.”

Passenger: “You aren’t understanding. I don’t want to transfer it. I just want you to change the name on the ticket.”

Me: “So… you want me to take your original ticket, backspace over your name, enter a new name, and then reprint the ticket?”

Passenger: “Yes! You’ve got it.”

Me: “That is exactly what transferring a ticket is. I can’t change the name.”

Passenger: “Argh! You still aren’t getting it. I. Don’t. Want. To. Transfer. It. Just change the name. That’s all.”

Honestly, I don’t remember if his head exploded or if he just hung up in rage, but he never did get that regardless of what you call changing the name on a ticket, it wasn’t an option for him. I remember people looking over at me as I was genuinely confused as to why he wasn’t getting it. I was like, am I seriously missing something here? It will always be something I think about fondly, wondering if this guy ever finally understood why he couldn’t get the name changed.

Passenger Discovers What Return Flights Are

, , , , , | Right | November 21, 2023

Caller: “Does Alaskan Airlines fly to Alaska?”

Me: “You’re asking me if Alaskan Airlines… flies to Alaska?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Alaskan Airlines flies to Alaska.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I knew you flew from Alaska, but I was worried about getting back…”