(At the security checkpoint, I observed a man walking up to the checkpoint with his luggage and a Tupperware container full of soup.)
Agent: “Sir, you can’t take that beyond this point.”
Customer: “But it’s my soup!”
Agent: “Sir, you can’t take a container bigger than three ounces.”
Customer: “But it’s my soup!
Agent: “I’m sorry, but you either have to eat it here or throw it away.”
Customer: “But… it’s delicious food!”
Customer: “Excuse me, when does the non-smoking sign go off?”
Me: “It doesn’t. You’re not allowed to smoke on this flight.”
Customer: “But it’s lit up! The seatbelt light turns off, and I think I need a smoke.”
Me: “You’re not allowed to smoke on an airplane.”
Customer: “I can’t just go outside and smoke, can I? *points to an emergency exit*
Me: “Er… good luck with that.”
This story is part of our Terrible Airline Passengers roundup!
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(A man and his girlfriend are standing towards the front of the line to board an airplane. I’m a passenger who overhears their conversation.)
Airline Employee: “We are now boarding numbers 1 through 30.”
(The man begins to walk away, but his girlfriend stays put.)
Girlfriend: “Where are you going?”
Man: “They called numbers 1 through 30.”
Girlfriend: “But my number is 6!”
This story is part of the Overheard roundup!
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Elderly Passenger: “Can you take my bag from the overhead bin and put it in the row?”
Me: “I’m sorry, you’re in the exit row. It must remain clear.”
Elderly Passenger: “Well, how about upfront by the door?”
Me: “No, that must remain clear as well.”
Elderly Passenger: “Just put it in the aisle, then.”
Me: “…”
(I’m a flight attendant doing my pre-takeoff check-in the cabin. A man stops me and gestures to the small digital camera sitting in the seat next to him.)
Passenger: “Is it okay if my camera is here for the flight?”
Me: “Sure, sir. That will be fine.”
Passenger: “But shouldn’t I put it in the overhead bin?”
Me: “It should be fine there, but if you’re worried about it falling on the floor during landing you could put it in the overhead bin.”
Passenger: “But after takeoff, won’t it start floating around the cabin?”
Me: “Well, sir, just hold on to it. Once we slingshot around the moon, it will be fine.”
