Needs Some Gorilla Cheese

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2018

(I work at a popular pizza and arcade place. A customer and presumably his girlfriend come to the register to place an order.)

Me: “Welcome to [Pizza Place]. What can I get for you today?”

Man: “What do y’all sell here?”

Me: “Pizza.”

Man: “Oh. Y’all got chicken?”

Me: “We have chicken wings, and slices of chicken you can put on your pizza.”

Man: “But you don’t got no, like, fried chicken?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Man: “Oh. Y’all got waiters?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Man: “Well, how’s the food get to us?”

Me: “I’ll give you this buzzer, and when it lights up and vibrates you can pick your food up over there.”

(I point at a counter where several other people are picking up their pizza.)

Woman: *seeming a little impatient* “Okay, how about a medium pizza, and some breadsticks.”

Man: “Man, I ain’t eatin’ no breadsticks. I need more than that; I’m like a gorilla.”

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