The Homo Critical Are Hypocritical

| Right | May 16, 2013

(Three men walk in at the same time to the adult bookstore where I work. Customer #1 heads straight for the lesbian p*rn. Customers #2 and #3 are regulars, and they are a couple. They have specially ordered certain items, and are there to pick them up.)

Me: “Hey, guys! I have your order in the back. Let me go get it!”

(I disappear, but as I’m picking up their box of items, I hear shouting. I rush out front.)

Customer #1: “Homosexuality is a sin! Read the f****** Bible!”

Customer #2: “Sir, you’re yelling at us in a p*rn store, while holding a DVD of lesbian p*rn. You are just a hypocrite, and I don’t need to listen to you.”

(Customer #2 grabs Customer #3’s hand, and they continue to walk around the store. Customer #1 turns red, but comes to me to check out.)

Customer #1: “Can you f******* believe those f***?”

Me: “I can, and you know what? I love them, and accept them for who they are. As for you, I don’t accept your hatred. Get the h*** out of my store.”

(I take the DVD, put it into the return to shelf bin, and wait for him to leave. He starts screaming.)

Customer #1: “I’m going to put you in your proper place as a woman!”

(Customer #2 and #3 come over.)

Customer #3: “She told you to leave. Either you leave on your own, or we’ll help you.”

(Customer #1 turns pale, and runs out of the store.)

Customer #1: “The f*** are gonna get me!”

(I turn to the two regulars.)

Me: “Would you like a free DVD?”

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Doesn’t Take Much To Weed Out The Bad Ones

| Working | June 27, 2012

(My register has turned up $40 short. The only people who have touched the register all day are my manager and me. I have no idea how it happened, because I am very careful with money. I get written up for it, though. The next day, I’m talking to one of my coworkers. Note that I’ve told her nothing about the $40.)

Me: “Does [manager] just hate me, or is she always in a crappy mood?”

Coworker: “Yesterday? Oh, she was just in a really b***y mood because she wanted to buy some weed from me, but couldn’t get the money.”

Me: “Wow, that’s classy.”

Coworker: “Yeah, she came up with the money last minute, though. I dunno where she got it.”

Me: *getting suspicious* “How much did she buy…?”

Coworker: “Forty bucks worth.”

Me: “…I don’t think I want to work here anymore.”

(Soon after that, the manager started cutting my hours and accusing me of things I didn’t do. Thankfully, I eventually quit!)


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One Sells Cats, The Other Sells Cat-Suits

, , , | Right | December 19, 2010

(I am the assistant manager at a store that specializes in adult videos and toys.)

Customer: “How did you end up here, anyway?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “How did you end up working here?”

Me: “I applied?”

Customer: “No, I mean, what’s an innocent little girl like you doing working at a place like this?”

Me: “Well, you know how people who love animals work at pet stores?”

(The customer has a moment of realization and becomes clearly flustered.)

Customer: “Oh…well, excuse me.” *leaves hurriedly*

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