Going To An Adult Store Doesn’t Mean They Behave Like Adults

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I work in an adult store, and in order to enter, you have to be at least 18 years old. A group of customers have just started walking into the store when I notice one of them has a baby with her.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t bring your baby in here. Anybody that comes in has to be at least 18 years old.”

Customer #1: *with a blank stare* “You have got to be s***ting me!”

(The customers agree that one of the women in the group will buy what she needs, then go outside and watch the baby so the mother can come back in. About ten minutes later, the mother comes back in without her baby. Note, it is ten pm at night and dark out.)

Customer #2: “Where is the baby?”

Customer #1: “Oh, she fell asleep, so I left her in the car.”

Customer #2: “Did you at least lock the doors?”

Customer #1: “Oh, that might be a good idea!” *runs to the door and uses the automatic locks to lock the car*

Me: *stands there with a shocked expression not sure what to do*

(Thankfully, they all did their shopping pretty fast and were out of the store within a few minutes. I still can’t believe that first she tried to bring her kid into an adult store… and then left the baby unattended, at night, in the car!)

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Run A Battery Of Tests

, , , | Right | December 29, 2017

(I work in an adult store and there are no returns, for obvious reasons. We test anything that vibrates before it leaves the store. If customers are undecided on something, I offer to put batteries in it for them so they can see how it works. This happens almost every time.)

Me: “We can take it up to the counter and test it if you want.”

Customer: “You can test them?!” *obviously disgusted*

Me: “Not like that.” *trying not to roll my eyes*

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Getting More Back Than Just The Return

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2017

(I work at an adult store. For obvious reasons there are no returns, but we test everything before it leaves the store so someone can’t bring it back and claim it didn’t work. A customer comes in looking for something he and his wife can use together. I help him pick something and test it for him. An hour or so later, he comes back in.)

Man: “Yeah, can I return this? She wasn’t interested. We didn’t open it.”

Me: “…”

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Getting Nice Homely Calls From Customers

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2017

(I work in an adult store that’s in the same building as a topless club. I answer the phone for both businesses.)

Caller: “How much is it to take one of the girls home?”

Me: “You can’t do that.”

Caller: “I’m sure some of them do that. Can’t you just ask them?”

Me: “No. You. Can. Not. Do. That.”

Caller: “Oh, come on. I’m sure that’s going on.”

Me: *click*

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You Need Coffee For Callers Like This

, , , | Right | December 18, 2017

(I work in an adult store that’s in the same building as a topless club. I answer their phone as well as ours, but most people call with questions about the club.)

Caller: “How’s it looking down there?”

(We get this question a lot, and I honestly don’t know if they would prefer it be packed or empty, so I usually respond the same way.)

Me: “I don’t know. I answer the phone in the adult store next door.”

Caller: “Oh, really? What’s your favorite thing in the adult store?

Me: *rolling my eyes* “I don’t have a favorite.”

Caller: “Oh, come on!”

Me: *looking around quickly* “My [Coffee Maker]. Does that work for you? My [Coffee Maker] is my favorite thing here.”

Caller: “Well, that’s no fun.”

Me: “It is for me. I really like coffee.” *click*

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