Well, Snap!

, , , | Learning | May 23, 2017

(I teach a preschool class with four-year-olds. On the way in from the playground, one girl is excited to talk about her sister.)

Girl: “Miss, guess what? My sister knows how to snap. She showed me.”

Me: “Wow, that’s so cool.”

Boy: “Oh, yeah? Well, my sister knows how to Snapchat!”

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The Good List Is Flowering This Year

, , | Right | May 21, 2017

(I work at a craft and hobby store. it is a few weeks before Christmas, so we have all kinds of Christmas merchandise. One very slow night I’m straightening up an aisle, and a mom sends her young daughter, four to five years old, over to give me some flowers she picked up off the floor. The daughter clearly wants to keep them, but the mom is teaching her about stealing and how you have to pay for things in stores.)

Daughter: *very politely* “Here you go. I found these on the floor, and my mom said I probably should give them to you to put away because we don’t have money to buy them today.”

Me: “Oh, my goodness, thank you! Now, I’ll tell you a little secret. These flowers are actually broken.” *they had fallen off their stems, so it was only the bloom* “So I can’t sell them any more. Would you like to keep them? You did the right thing by bringing them to me, so it’s my way of saying ‘thank you!'”

Daughter: “Oh, yes, thank you! Mommy, mommy, the nice lady said I get to keep them!”

(I explain to the mother that I would just have to throw them away otherwise. Because we’re so slow, I then go to the back to get some other broken flowers that I had taken back earlier. I tell my coworkers to bring me any they have, too. While getting the flowers, I also find some extra floral wire laying around, so I tell a coworker to keep an eye on the mother-daughter duo and not let them leave while I make something really fast. When I’m done, I go out to find the family again.)

Me: “Hi, remember me? Well, I was just so impressed by how good you were being that I went and made a little something for you.” *I pull out a little flower crown that I made from the blooms and wire*

Daughter: “FOR ME?! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!”

Me: “Yep, I think it’s perfect for a polite little princess like yourself. And just so you know, it’s true that Santa’s always watching. We elves are everywhere!” *I put on one of our store “elf hats” and my coworkers come around the corner wearing the hats, too* “You really impressed him today, so he called and asked us to give you that crown!”

(The little girl was speechless, and the mother couldn’t thank us enough. Hopefully, we just helped mold a good future customer!)

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Learnt Something At School But Can’t Put Your Finger On It

, , , | Related | April 10, 2017

(As a child, we visited my grandparents every few months and it was customary to make videos. My last grandparent recently passed away and we found the tapes in his belongings. I’m female. I was talking about school at six years old.)

Grandfather: “What did you learn?”

Me: “Math! 1+1=2.”

Grandfather: “What else?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Grandmother: “How about your friends?”

Me: “Ooh. A boy taught me something!”

(Holds up middle finger.)

Me: “He said it means we’re friends.”

(Then the video became very shaky and the audio was unclear — then it went blank.)

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No End(erman) Of Kindness In Sight

, , | Hopeless | April 3, 2017

(I am at a small table set up inside the store, trying to get people to sign up for our company’s credit card. A father and his son, who is no older than seven, walks up. One of my coworkers is next to me and asks the little boy about his shirt.)

Coworker: “Do you play Minecraft?” *pointing to his Minecraft shirt*

Boy: *shyly nods*

(I happened to purchase one of the Minecraft blind boxes earlier and had the small toy at the table with me.)

Me: *shows him the cow toy* “I like Minecraft, too!”

Parent: “Oh, look, [Kid]! She likes Minecraft, too. We’ve been buying those boxes, too.”

Me: “Yeah, they’re really cute. I’m trying to get the Enderman.”

Parent: “You know they have codes on them, right?”

Me: “Really? That’s awesome. I have to look them up!”

Parent: “Yeah, well, have a good day!”

Me: “You too!”

(The two leave to find his wife and shop around the store. I push the encounter to the back of my mind as I am doing my job. About 30 minutes later, the kid comes back with one of the small Minecraft boxes in his hand. He shyly hands it to me.)

Me: “Oh, did you get another one?”

Parent: “It’s the Enderman one. He wanted to give it to you just in case you still wanted it.”

Me: *overwhelmed with happiness because he was nice enough to find it and bring it to me* “Oh, my gosh, thank you so much!”

(I thanked both the parents and the little boy. That little boy doesn’t know how much he made my day.)

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Finally Got Them Bugging Out

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2017

(I am at my volunteer job in the local shelter when a woman and her daughter, who is maybe eight to nine years old, come in to check out our kittens. The daughter immediately comes up to me.)

Girl: “Do you have any monkeys?”

Me: “No, we just have cats and dogs, and I think we have a rabbit right now, too.”

Girl: “I love monkeys! I’m going to get one as a pet!”

(She continues to talk about how much she loves monkeys and wants to have one of her very own, while her mother adopts an “oh, no, here we go again” expression.)

Me: “Well, the thing is, it’s actually pretty difficult to keep a monkey as a pet.”

Girl: “It is?”

Me: “Yup. See, monkeys don’t like to be by themselves; they get really unhappy if they’re left alone all day when you’re in school.”

Girl: “They do?”

Me: “Absolutely. Also, they can be hard to feed correctly. Do you know what monkeys eat?”

Girl: “I’d feed my monkey bananas!”

Me: “Well, some monkeys eat fruit, but they can’t eat only bananas. They need to eat a wide variety of fruits to stay healthy. And some monkeys don’t eat fruit; they eat bugs.”

Girl: “Really?”

Me: “Yup, they eat worms and flies and caterpillars…”

Girl: “Eeeew! I don’t want something that eats bugs! Maybe I shouldn’t get a monkey.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s a lot easier to keep a kitten. Would you like to hold one?”

(I showed her several of our kittens. As the two of them were leaving, her mother turned to me and whispered, “Thank you,” with a very profound look of relief.)

This story is part of our Monkey-themed roundup!

Read the next Monkey-themed roundup story!

Read the Monkey-themed roundup!

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