You Are A Child’s Plaything!

, , , , , | Friendly | June 29, 2018

(I share a yard with my neighbour, and since we both have kids the same age, we are normally playing outside at the same time. Their youngest daughter is three and really has taken a liking to me. One day we are out, and all the kids are playing except her. She is standing next to my chair watching me.)

Me: “Why don’t you go play, sweetheart? What’s your favourite toy out here?”

Three-Year-Old: *with the biggest smile you can imagine* “You!”

Cutting This Call Short

, , , , , , , | Related | June 27, 2018

(My two-year-old’s hair has gotten a bit long, so I decide to trim it. I have him sitting on my lap, and just as I start to trim his hair, my phone goes off. It’s a Skype call, and he knows that my phone only makes that particular sound when his dad is calling, so he excitedly bounces right as I close the scissors. I sigh as I answer the video call and give my son the phone.)

Son: “Dada! Hi!”

Husband: “Hey there, son!”

(My son starts jabbering away at my husband, then suddenly he reaches up and grabs the back of his head and his eyes go wide.)

Son: *patting the back of his head* “Oh, gosh! Oh, gosh!”

Husband: *to me* “What’s wrong? Why’s he grabbing his head like that?”

Me: “Well, he moved right as I went to trim his hair, and I wound up cutting it way shorter than I meant to. He just realized how much hair I chopped off back there.”

Husband: *laughs* “Did she gap your hair, buddy?”

Son: *nods* “Yeah!” *pats back of his head again then looks at me* “Gosh!”

Me: *rolls eyes* “Well, sir, when you finish your conversation with Dada, I will get the clippers out and cut your hair so that it’s all short.”

(My son sits quietly a moment as if he’s contemplating what I’ve said, then nods.)

Son: “You do it.”

Husband: *laughs* “I wonder how well that’s going to go over?”

(For the rest of the twenty minute call, he occasionally reached up to touch the back of his head and say, “Oh, gosh!” When we had finished the call, my son sat completely still for most of his hair cut. The only time he moved was to occasionally wipe the hair off his face and the back of his neck before I could do it. I am so glad he didn’t cry or throw a fit like some children his age do.)

Best Answer

, , , , | Hopeless | June 11, 2018

(Im working registers when a family with two young boys, less than seven, comes up.)

Younger Boy: “Do you know who my best friend is?”

Me: “Um, is it your brother?”

Younger Boy: “Nah, he’s my super friend.”

Me: *playing along* “Of course! How silly of me. So who is your best friend?”

Younger Boy: “You are!”

(The rest of my day went by with me in a great mood because of him.)

Nothing Never Tasted So Good

, , , , , , , | Related | June 11, 2018

(I am visiting my cousin and niece at their house. They are in the kitchen while I am in an adjacent room.)

Niece: “Daddy, can I have some ice cream?”

Cousin: “Sure thing. Don’t tell anyone else about this, okay?”

(At this point, I need something from the kitchen, so I walk in, just as my cousin is opening the freezer and taking out an ice cream carton.)

Me: “Hey there, [Niece]. What are you doing?”

Niece: “We’re getting… nothing from the freezer.”

(She held her arms out, as if to block me from seeing my very tall cousin prepare an ice cream cone.)

It Can Be A Fight To Get To Playtime

, , , | Related | June 10, 2018

(It’s the weekend, and I’m sitting at the computer filling out a rather long job application, when my three-year-old son climbs in my lap and asks me to play with him.)

Me: “Sorry, buddy, I have to answer these questions first. Here, you can help me answer this one. What are my strengths? What is mommy good at?”

Son: “Um, hugging! And opening chips.” *gives me a hug* “And kissing.”

Me: “I’m glad you think so, because I love hugging you. Next question, what are my weaknesses?”

Son: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What am I not good at?”

Son: “Fighting! Flying! I don’t know. Can you play now?”

(When I told my husband about it later, his response was, “Well, he’s not wrong.”)

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