Her Rules Of Thumb Suck

, , , , , | Related | May 29, 2013

(I am three years old. I have a really bad cold that is keeping me from sucking on my thumb to sleep. I go downstairs to cry to my mom.)

Me: “Mommy, I can’t suck my thumb!”

Mom: *sarcastic* “Just stick it in your ear.”

(I put my thumb in my ear.)

Me: “It’s not working!”

(My mom had to leave the room so I that I didn’t see her laugh.)

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Man’s Best Friend, From Beginning To End

, , , , , , , | Right | April 1, 2013

(A family has just had their old golden retriever euthanized, due to a mix of a bad heart and bone cancer. The whole family is pretty despondent, but the youngest, a little boy, is taking it the worst. While the family is waiting for the paperwork to get finished, one of our regulars — a young Air Force lieutenant — walks in. He quickly notices the group, and approaches the desk.)

Lieutenant: “Did they just have to put someone down?”

(I nod. The lieutenant sits down right next to the boy, who is near tears.)

Lieutenant: “You okay, little guy?”

(The boy nods.)

Lieutenant: “Did you lose someone you care about?”

Boy: “Uh huh…”

Lieutenant: “Do you miss him?”

Boy: “Uh huh…”

Lieutenant: “Did you make every day of his life worth living?”

Boy: “Huh?”

Lieutenant: “I lost my little brother to cancer a few years back, and it tore me up. Had I done everything I could? What if I had done this or that differently? I just didn’t know, and it ate me up inside. Then they read us his will. It said, ‘I thank you, all of you, for making what borrowed time on Earth I had worth it, down to the second. That is all I could have asked for; know that should this cancer take me before I pen this will again, I loved each of you like no other family can, and going out with a smile worth smiling is the best way to go.'”

(The whole family is listening at this point, and the boy is completely enraptured. The lieutenant, lost in his recounting for a moment, looks back at the child.)

Lieutenant: “So, if you did your best — your VERY BEST — to make every day of his life worth living, I’m sure from wherever he is now, he’s looking back on your time together and smiling.”

(The boy runs out of his chair, up to the lieutenant, and gives him a hug. He lets loose all the tears he was fighting back. The father tries to remove the child from his iron-gripped hug, but the lieutenant stops him.)

Lieutenant: *to the father* “It really is no trouble at all…”

(As for the boy, he eventually he cried himself to sleep in the lieutenant’s lap.)

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She’ll Have Nonna His Lip

, , , | Working | March 18, 2013

(We have a kiosk in the back of the store that allows customers to shop and order online items. There is an elderly customer with her young granddaughter trying to work the system. I’m working on the computer attempting to fix a glitch, while my new coworker stands there doing nothing. He looks at the elderly customer and says…)

Coworker: “Aw, geez, that’s going to take forever!”

Me: “You could, you know… help her? It’s kinda what we’re here for.”

Coworker:  “Seriously? We have to help old hags figure out how to use an Internet browser? That wasn’t in MY job description!”

(The elderly woman hears my new coworker and flinches at his rude comments. As it isn’t busy, I go over and help her. Over the next half hour, I help her find what she wants and purchase it, while her young granddaughter shows amazing patience for a child her age.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, everything seems to be in order! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Oh, no, my dear! You’ve been amazing! Thank you so much!”

(To my astonishment, the customer’s young grandaughter wraps her arms around my leg and hugs it tightly.)

Granddaughter: *to me* “You’re a very very nice people. No one helped my Nonna like that today. Nonna said nice peoples need hugs!”

(I’m left speechless.The granddaughter then lets go of my leg, walks up to my coworker, and suddenly kicks him HARD in the shin.)

Coworker: “OW! What was that for?!”

Granddaughter: “You’re a mean people. Nonna says mean peoples don’t need hugs!”

Customer: *beaming* “There’s a good girl!”

(The two of them left, giving me their thanks while my new coworker glowered at me. That moment made my year!)

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Why Nurses Should Rule The World

, , | Right | October 29, 2012

(My five-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)

Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”

Son: “I don’t want to.”

Nurse: “What’s the matter?”

Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”

Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”

(The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)

Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”

(I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)

Nurse: “Hey, buddy! What’s wrong?”

Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”

Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”

Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”

Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”

Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”

Nurse: “Yeah, kiddo, a few.”

Son: “And you came back to life?”

Nurse: “Every single time.”

Son: “Promise?”

Nurse: “Swear.”

(My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)

Son: “Okay…”

Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”

Son: “Thank you! Love you!”

Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”

(I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery went. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)

 

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There’s Something In Those Poppy Seeds

, , , , , | Right | October 16, 2012

(My boss is known for being very strict, and demanding ‘good customer relations.’ He reprimands us if we say things that he thinks are ‘unprofessional,’ which has forced us to be very formal with everyone who comes into the shop. Today, he’s running late.)

Customer: “Can I get a toasted everything bagel, and–” *turns to [Daughter]* “What do you want?”

Daughter: *about eight years old* “Poppy seeds and cream cheese!”

Customer: “…and a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese.”

Co-worker: “Sure, here’s your poppy seed. Just give me a minute to toast the everything.”

Daughter: *after a few seconds* “Mommy…”

Customer: “We’re almost ready to go, dear, mommy just needs her bagel, too.”

Daughter: “Mommy… I  dropped my bagel and the cream cheese is dirty.”

Co-worker: “Don’t worry about it. Here’s a new one for free.”

Daughter: *very excited* “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

Customer: “Bagel bagel bagel bagel!”

Me: *handing the customer her bagel* “Here’s your BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

Coworker: *joining in* “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

(Suddenly, my boss walks in the door. My coworker, the customer, and I all shut up and look embarrassed. The daughter doesn’t stop.)

Daughter: “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

Boss: “When in Rome. BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

All three of us: “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

(My boss is still serious, but whenever that customer comes in, he starts screaming ‘BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL’ over and over again!)

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