She’ll Have Nonna His Lip

, , , | Chicago, IL, USA | Working | March 18, 2013

(We have a kiosk in the back of the store that allows customers to shop and order online items. There is an elderly customer with her young granddaughter trying to work the system. I’m working on the computer attempting to fix a glitch, while my new coworker stands there doing nothing. He looks at the elderly customer and says…)

Coworker: “Aw, geez, that’s going to take forever!”

Me: “You could, you know… help her? It’s kinda what we’re here for.”

Coworker:  “Seriously? We have to help old hags figure out how to use an Internet browser? That wasn’t in MY job description!”

(The elderly woman hears my new coworker and flinches at his rude comments. As it isn’t busy, I go over and help her. Over the next half hour, I help her find what she wants and purchase it, while her young granddaughter shows amazing patience for a child her age.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, everything seems to be in order! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Oh, no, my dear! You’ve been amazing! Thank you so much!”

(To my astonishment, the customer’s young grandaughter wraps her arms around my leg and hugs it tightly.)

Granddaughter: *to me* “You’re a very very nice people. No one helped my Nonna like that today. Nonna said nice peoples need hugs!”

(I’m left speechless.The granddaughter then lets go of my leg, walks up to my coworker, and suddenly kicks him HARD in the shin.)

Coworker: “OW! What was that for!”

Granddaughter: “You’re a mean people. Nonna says mean peoples don’t need hugs!”

Customer: *beaming* “There’s a good girl!”

(The two of them left, giving me their thanks while my new coworker glowered at me. That moment made my year!)

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Why Nurses Should Rule The World

, , | TX, USA | Right | October 29, 2012

(My five-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)

Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”

Son: “I don’t want to.”

Nurse: “What’s the matter?”

Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”

Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”

(The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)

Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”

(I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)

Nurse: “Hey, buddy! What’s wrong?”

Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”

Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”

Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”

Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”

Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”

Nurse: “Yeah, kiddo, a few.”

Son: “And you came back to life?”

Nurse: “Every single time.”

Son: “Promise?”

Nurse: “Swear.”

(My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)

Son: “Okay…”

Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”

Son: “Thank you! Love you!”

Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”

(I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery went. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)


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Out Bat-ter Angels

, , | NY, USA | Right | September 24, 2012

(I work at a hospital. Every week, we host an event where volunteers come in and entertain some of the sick children. On this particular day, most of the volunteers are dressed up as superheroes.)

Superman: “Who wants me to see if I can pull a penny out of their nose?”

Child #1: *in a wheelchair* “Me! Me!”

Superman: *doing his magic trick* “I’m afraid I can’t. All I could find were all these quarters!”

(Superman magically pulls out a quarter and gives it to [Child #1]. A few minutes later, [Child #1] returns.)

Child #1: “Superman! Superman! I bought candy with the money you found! This one’s for you.”

(At this point, one of two volunteers dressed as Spider-man speaks up.)

Spider-man #1: “Where’d he get that candy?”

Child #2: “There’s a vending machine in the hallway.”

Spider-man #1: “They let you buy candy? That’s not healthy.”

Spider-man #2: “I’m sure the nurses here are aware of what the kids eat.”

Child #2: “It’s true. They’re really strict.”

Spider-man #1: “It’s just not healthy…”

(Meanwhile, Superman is continuing his trick.)

Superman: “…and another one in the left ear, and another one in the right ear. Wait! I haven’t checked your nose for quarters yet.”

Child #3: *after Superman’s finished* “What kind of candy do you want, Superman?”

Superman: “Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m Superman! Superman can make candy with his mind.”

Child #3: “Nuh uh! I saw the movie!”

Superman: “Oh, yeah? Watch this!”

(He closes his eyes and concentrations hard, then pretends to catch something out of the air.)

Superman: “Ah-ha! Chocolate!”

Spider-man #1: “Don’t give her that. They get too much sugar.”

Nurse: “It’s fine, sir.”

Spider-man #1: “No!”

(All of a sudden, Spider-man #1 grabs the chocolate from Superman, throws it on the floor, and stomps on it. He’s clearly out of control and scaring the children.)

Spider-man #1: “Food like that will just keep you sick! They just want you to stay here and keep buying their s****y candy to keep you sick so they can get your money! They just—”

(At that moment, a man dressed as Batman appears with his cape wrapped around him. Surprised, Spider-man #1 begins stuttering.)

Spider-man #1: “Uh… what do you want?”

Batman: *in a deep voice* “I want this hospital to be a place of hope. I want these children to enjoy their lives. I want the forces of darkness forever beaten.”

(He drops the cloak, revealing the police uniform underneath it.)

Batman: *cuffs Spider-man #1* “I want justice!”

(The children all cheer, relieved. A month later, one of the children who has been in the hospital for a very long time is getting ready to leave. When someone asks him what his favorite memory of the volunteer nights was, he says…)

Child: “When crazy Spider-man went crazy and Batman took off his costume and he was an actually real hero and made crazy Spider-man go away!”

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