Tabling This Argument

A local café has tables for two, four, and six people. This particular day it was super busy, with only one four-person table available. My mum and I sat there. Our coffee, tea, and water arrived quickly, and by the time our food arrived, there were a few two-person tables free but no larger ones. We were enjoying our food when three women approached our table.

Woman #1: “Hi, can we sit here?”

Me: “Um, sorry, there’s really not room.”

Woman #1: “What? There are four chairs.”

Me: “Uh, yes, but we’re here already, and there are three of you…”

Mum: “And we’re not happy sharing. Sorry.”

Woman #1: “There are tables for two. You’re on a four.”

Woman #2: *Rudely* “You need to move. We need this table.”

Me: “You’re joking, right? We’re eating!”

Mum: “Wait a few minutes and you’ll get a table.”

Woman #1: *Angrily* “Look, just shift your stuff over to that table.”

She pointed at a two-top a couple of tables over.

Me: “Lady, no. We’re sitting here, we’re eating, and we’re not moving.” *Trying to defuse the situation a bit* “Anyway, we don’t have enough hands to carry all this…”

Woman #2: *Grabbing my salad plate* “Oh, for God’s sake, I’ll help! Just shift!”

Mum & Me: “HEY!”

At this point, the staff realised what was going on, and the manager came and basically herded the women toward the door. We couldn’t hear all of what he said, but it ended with him emphatically saying, “No, and don’t bother coming back!”

We got our meals for free and a big apology, even though it wasn’t his fault. But honestly, who tries to get someone to move tables mid-meal? It’s a cafe; people are in and out in thirty minutes!