Swipe Left! Swipe Left!

(I am working stock throughout the store, somewhat relaxed, as I am approached by an elderly Italian man who doesn’t know much English. This is very common, but not usually this interesting.)

Customer: “Hello, uh… uh, the tissue?” *gestures to ask where*

Me: “Yep, just this way.”

(I show him where the tissues are located.)

Customer: “Ah, no, no, the other?”

Me: “Oh, umm, toilet tissue?”

Customer: “No, no, the tissue for… for the lady?”

(He gestures haphazardly towards his crotch with a wiping motion, at which point I assume he either means ladies’ pads or vaginal wipes.)

Me: “Ooh, okay, next aisle.”

(I had a coworker, a Sri Lankan guy who loves a good laugh, who sort of got in on helping the customer at this point. I gestured to the women’s hygiene section. The customer, now almost distraught but not annoyed, spouted a classic, “Oh, mamma mia! No, no, mamma mia!” at which point the Sri Lankan coworker cracked up and I was suddenly called over the intercom to help on registers. Apparently, he wanted some form of facial tissues, which were right next to all the ladies’ hygiene even though they aren’t exactly ladies only. Still, don’t know why he gestured towards his crotch with a wiping motion.)