Sweet Talking About Talking

(My new boyfriend and I are at our high school football game. We are standing at halftime, and he doesn’t talk much due to his lisp. When he does, people don’t mind.)

Me: “To tell the truth, I’m slightly jealous of you.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Because when you talk, people don’t care about your speech impediment.”

(Note: I have a very strong stutter that I have managed to control when I’m calm, but is always there when my heart elevates.)

Boyfriend: “You don’t have a lisp though.”

(My heart is starting to race, since I haven’t told anyone about the stutter.)

Me: “I-I-I-I do, I do, I do have a stutter though. It’s, it’s, always there when I’m nervous most-mostly.”

Boyfriend: “Aww! You sound so cute!”

Me: “Well, same to-to-to-to-GAH! I hate this!”

Boyfriend: “If we combine us, the result will be a highly intelligent, attractive person, who is highly social, but then speaks and sounds like an adorable five year old!”