Sweater Mystery Unravels

(I am working at the customer service desk. A conservatively dressed woman in her early sixties walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Just a return.”

(She pulls out a very garish holiday sweater, covered entirely in bright red sequins.)

Me: “Okay, was there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “No. I just must have been really f****** high when I bought it. Look at it! It’s hideous! I don’t even remember buying this thing. I must have been really baked. D***, this is an ugly sweater!”