Swans Cost Extra

(My fiancé and I are planning a lovely zoo wedding, where we’ll hold the ceremony in a beautiful jungle-themed museum. We also happen to have a pet duck that we CANNOT leave home alone due to severe separation anxiety. As a result, he came with us in his little carrier, much to the zoo’s event planner’s amusement. At this moment I’m standing outside admiring the jaguar enclosure, which is right outside the venue. A random couple walks by.)

Wife: “Oh, my gosh! Is that a duck?”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, his name’s Wobbles. Don’t worry, he won’t bite or anything. We’re here to finalize our wedding plans and [Fiancé] is over there taking some photos of the venue. I’m just waiting and admiring the kitties!”

Husband: “So… is he yours, or is he part of the wedding package?”

Me: *blinks a few times, making sure I heard him right* “Oh, um… he’s mine. We hatched him about six months ago. He’s really attached, kinda like a lovebird, so we have to take him with us everywhere.”

Wife: “He’s such a cutie! C’mon honey, let’s go see the penguins!”

(They leave just as my fiancé returns.)

Fiancé: “Hey, [My Name], what was that all about? You looked like you were confused about something.”

Me: “That guy honestly thought that Wobbles was on loan from the zoo as part of our wedding ceremony. ‘Why yes, sir, it’s a special going on right now: Book a zoo wedding, get a free duck! Get ’em now, while supplies last!'”