Survival Of The Fittest In Action

| | Right | July 8, 2008

Me:¬†”Hello, this is Dr. ***’s office. Can I help you?”

Patient: “Yeah, is there an injection I can get for my gout?”

Me:¬†”I don’t think so. I think we only give injections for muscle pain, but I can double-check for you.”

Patient: “Yeah, check.¬†I’m going away this weekend and my ankle really hurts. My primary doctor says it’s not gout. I had these labs done, and they all say it’s not gout, but it really hurts.”

Me: “It’s not gout, but you want to know about a gout injection?”

Patient: “Well, they say it’s not gout, but I was at a bar and a guy looked at it and said, ‘That’s gout, all right!'”

Me: “… a guy at the bar?”

Patient: “Yeah. And he gave me one of his pills and it really helped.”

Me: “You took a pill from some guy in a bar?!”

Patient: “Yeah, it really helped and it was gout medicine, so I think I have gout.¬†So is there an injection?”

Me: “Hold, please.”

(At this point, I go ask my manager if a gout injection exists, which it doesn’t, and explain to her the situation. ¬†She agrees that this is completely stupid, but that if the woman wants gout medication, we can prescribe it.)

Me: “Thanks for holding. Turns out there’s no injection for gout.”

Patient: “Really? My ankle’s killing me.”

Me: “Well, if the medicine you took worked for you, we may be able to write you a prescription for it.”

Patient: “Oh, I already have a prescription.”

Me: “You… already have a prescription that stops your pain? Are you taking it?”

Patient: “No, I thought an injection might be faster.”

Me: *long pause* “Is there anything else you need today?”

Patient: “No, thank you.” *click*

Me: “Oh. My.¬†God.”

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  • Trillium

    Reminds me of a real story I read once
    A woman storms to a doctor and angrily shouts that (unorthodox and rather idiotic at that) medicine she used didn’t work and made her condition worse.
    “But why did you use that medicine in the first place?”
    “I was told to in the pharmacy! So its legit!”
    “You mean a pharmacist told you to use that?”
    “No, an old woman in the line.”
    “Riiiiight…”