Surface-Level Flirting Only

(I’ve just moved into a new flat with a housemate who’s a bit of a slob. Consequently, the place is a huge mess. I hate cleaning enough when it’s my own mess, and some of this place looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in years; the microwave is particularly gross. I also commented that the place doesn’t really feel like home yet.)

Him: “Maybe we just need to have sex in every room for it to feel like home?”

Me: “Eugh, we’d have to clean any surface before we have sex on it.”

Him: “That might be a way to get me to clean your flat for you.”

Me: “So, for every surface you clean, I’ll have sex with you on it.”

Him: “Deal!”

Me: “Including the microwave?”

Him: “I don’t know? We could stick your butt in it?”

Me: “Please don’t microwave my butt!”

(Phrases you thought you’d never say…)