Sure Beats Going Spinning

| Working | April 14, 2014

(One of my male coworkers has recently found out that his wife is pregnant. A female coworker and I [also female] are discussing it with him.)

Me: “Oh, yeah, and make sure she does her kegels.”

Coworker #1: “What’s a kegel?”

Coworker #2: “It’s exercises for her hoo-hah.”

Coworker #1: “What?! That exists?”

Me: “If she wants any kind of real bladder control after the baby, she’ll wanna do them.”

Coworker #2: “The hospital will show her how.”

Coworker #1: *looking more and more distressed* “They’ll SHOW her?!”

Coworker #2: “Uh, they’ll explain it to her.”

Me: *snorts* “Yeah, they’ll demonstrate for her. ‘Just do it like this, ma’am!'” *I paste on a creepy grin, stare Coworker #1 dead in the eye, and don’t move* “See? I just did, like, 18 in a row.”

Coworker #2: “Basically.”

Me: “Basically.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, my god. I need brain bleach.”

Boss: *from outside* “WHO BROKE [COWORKER #1]?!”

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