Sugar And Spice And Naughty And Nice
Customer: *after purchasing tickets and popcorn* “And I need to get my husband a drink. Give me a bottle of water. Or… what do you have that’s not naughty?”
Me: “Um, naughty like… ‘sex on the beach?'”
Customer: “No. Just without any high-fructose crap. Saccharine is fine, aspartame isn’t…”
(She begins to look at the options in our cooler as her husband, wearing a ‘live free or die’ hat, enters.)
Customer: “Get something to drink. Something not naughty.”
Customer’s Husband: *to me* “You got Coke products?”
Me: “Yes. We have fountain drinks which have HFCS, and the bottled drinks are all cane sugar. So they aren’t, um, quite as naughty.”
Customer: “Oh, he’ll just have a bottle of water.”
Me: “Okay. So that’s two bottles of water? One for him and one for you?”
Customer’s Husband: “I think I’ll have a Cherry Coke.”
Customer: “Cherry Coke? What are you, 12?”
Customer’s Husband: “We’re at a movie!”
Customer: “But it’s NAUGHTY!”
Customer’s Husband: “Fine. Make it a small.”
Customer: “Well, I’ll be in the theater while you’re getting diabetes! WITH MY WATER!”
(I prepare the Cherry Coke for him and ring it up.)
Me: “Live free or die, man. Here’s your drink.”
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.
