Suffering From Wi-Fitis

(I am coming to the end of a line of customers checking into our hotel. When I come to the last, she appears to be in considerable pain from a headache. I offer to let her sit down and she can check in once she feels better.)

Woman: “Thank you, dear, but I have electromagnetic sensitively, and your Wi-Fi box is giving me such a headache.”

Me: “Um, I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Woman: *now extremely irate* “I’M ALLERGIC TO WI-FI!” *points at telephone* “TURN THE BLASTED THING OFF NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that won’t—“

Woman: *laying on the floor* “I am in agony!”

Me: “Madam, I wish I could help, but this is a telephone, and the Wi-Fi hub is—“

(She sits up abruptly and sees that I am holding the receiver of our wired public telephone. She lets out a massive sigh.)

Woman: “It must just be a headache, then. I’ll take some painkillers from my bag.”

(She checked in and seemed perfectly all right after being in agony just a few moments before. She spent the rest of the week walking by the reception with no issue, despite the fact that the main Wi-Fi hub for the hotel was directly above my head. When she checked out, she commented on how “Wi-Fi-free the hotel was” and left a positive rating in her feedback. We have hubs on every floor and the signal is pretty much constant throughout the entire hotel. I don’t want to criticise the claims that allergy to Wi-Fi is an actual thing, but in her case, I sincerely doubt it was.)