Suffering From A Different Kind Of Hair-Loss

(I am blessed with soft, thick, luxurious hair that grows incredibly fast. I decide to start donating it every couple of years once it gets long enough, usually about to my lower back or thighs, or whenever I grow too frustrated with it. I go in to ‘harvest the crop’ and one of the girls tells me to come on over and sit down.)

Stylist: “Okay, so what are we doing to it today?”

Me: “Cut it short, but save the ponytail. I’m donating it.”

Stylist: *somewhat perturbed* “Oh… that’s interesting.”

(I’m not really paying attention while she’s cutting. I run a side business and am on my phone sorting out some orders until she’s done.)

Stylist: “Finished!”

Me: *looks up* “ACK! WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

(My hair is now cropped up to my ears when I usually like it cut about to the nape of my neck. Even worse, I look down on the floor and all of my hard-grown hair is lying in tattered shreds and pieces all around the chair, utterly useless for cancer donation. I turned around, wild-eyed.)

Me: “I was going to donate that! What the h*** did you do to it?!”

Stylist: “I did exactly like you said; I cut it short. It’s a cute little pixie cut now!”

Me: “Okay, one, I did NOT ask for a d*** pixie cut; it looks atrocious! Two, I asked you to cut it straight across and SAVE the PONYTAIL! I was donating it!”

Stylist: “Okay, uh, eww! You know they just toss the hair out, right? Besides, this is so cute on you!”

Me: “They don’t ‘toss it out,’ it goes to cancer patients! My niece ended up with the last ponytail I donated!”

Stylist: “Well, your niece is officially gross and you obviously don’t care about your appearance. You need to pay for the cut now.”

Me: “I’m not paying you for s***!”

(One of the other women overhears the argument and brings the head stylist over, as well as the lady who usually cuts my hair.)

Regular: “[My Name], I thought you were donating this week.”

Me: “I WAS, before she did this to me.” *points at ridiculous haircut*

Stylist: “Nobody donates hair! That’s f****** disgusting!”

Regular: “Uh, SHE has, for the last two years!”

Stylist: “Whatever, she still needs to pay for the cut.”

Regular: “No, she doesn’t. You on the other hand, owe her an apology and you can officially excuse yourself for the rest of the week.”

(She flipped me off instead and stormed out. I found out later that she was fired for throwing out ponytails of donated hair that other stylists had saved up for various organizations. A total of thirty-four donations wound up in the dump.)