Sued To Satisfaction

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2018

(I’m next in line at the cash register when a middle-aged woman shoves me out the way.)

Woman: “Last week that dress was only 80€. Now I come back today and it’s 110€.”

Cashier: *to me* “I’m sorry.” *to the woman* “Yes, we had a promotion last week for that brand but it has already ended.”

Woman: “NO! This is false advertising! Give it to me for 80€!”

Cashier: “The promotion has ended. That has nothing to do with false advertising.”

Woman: “GIVE IT TO ME FOR 80€ OR I’LL SUE THE H*** OUT OF YOU!”

Cashier: “I’m just going to call a manager. One second, please.”

(The annoying woman now looks incredibly smug as she apparently — as do I — expects them to cave in. After a minute a manager comes over and the cashier relays the story to him.)

Manager: “I see.” *fumbles around his pockets and hands the woman a piece of paper* “That’s the card of our lawyer. As you threatened to sue us, our employees are, as per policy, no longer allowed to talk to you. For further communications please contact the number on the card. Thank you and have a nice day.”

(The manager walks away and the cashier motions to me to step forward and starts scanning my purchase.)

Cashier: *ignoring the woman* “Do you have a loyalty card?”

Woman: “You can’t be serious. I’d still would’ve bought it!”

Me: *also ignoring her, to cashier* “No, thank you.”

Cashier: “Do you need a bag for 5¢?”

Woman: “Don’t you know how much I buy here?! Sell it to me for 110€ or I’ll take my business elsewhere!”

Me: *grinning uncontrollably, to cashier* “No, but thank you.”

Cashier: “All right. Have a nice day.”

Woman: “WHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING ME?! HELLO? I WANT THAT DRESS NOW!”

Me: “Thank you, I’m having a great day already.”

(Best. Policy. Ever.)

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