Sue The Lawyer

Me: “[Lawyer]’s office. How can I direct your call?”

Caller: “Is [Lawyer] available?”

Me: “He’s with clients right now. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to talk to him.”

Me: “I can give him a message, but he won’t be available for a few hours.”

Caller: “Fine, leave a message for him. This is [Caller]. Tell him I want to talk to him about him trespassing on my property!”

Me: “Um, okay. I’ll be sure to give him the message.”

(Thirty minutes later when I answer the phone:)

Caller: “Did you give him my message?”

Me: “No, sir, he is still with clients. I will let him know you called as soon as he has finished.”

Caller: “I want to leave another message. You tell him that he can either talk to me, or he can talk to the sheriff if he doesn’t call me.”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, sir. I will give him the message. However, it will likely be a few more hours before he is even finished with his clients.”

Caller: “You tell him what I said.”

(An hour later, when I answer:)

Sheriff: “This Is [Sheriff]. Is [Lawyer] available?”

Me: “Is this concerning [Caller]?”

Sheriff: “It is.”

Me: “I apologize, sir. He is not going to be available for a few hours more. As I told [Caller], he won’t be able to call back until he has finished with his current clients.”

Sheriff: “Can you tell [Lawyer] to call me today as soon as he is available?”

Me: “Yes, I will. Does this mean that Mr. [Caller] is not going to be calling us anymore?”

Sheriff: “I can’t promise that he won’t call back, but hopefully this will have calmed down his need to talk to [Lawyer].”

(Two hours later, the lawyer finally finishes with his client, and I flag him down to explain the situation. He instantly groans and starts laughing.)

Lawyer: “Did he really call the police on me? I can’t believe him. I went on his property to talk with his wife about some different property that she was selling. He was angry that I was there to even talk with her, because his name isn’t on the property for sale, so he won’t get any of the money. He called the office twice last night and left a message to complain about me going over there to seduce her and claimed that she was completely upset with my even being there. She was the one that invited me over to talk about selling the land to me! What a jerk!”