Such A Loss That You’re Not Coming Back

(My mom works loss prevention at the local supermarket. She is following this guy around who is obviously stealing things. Aware that LP is following him, he whirls to face her and starts shouting.)

Shoplifter: “This is bulls***! I’m not stealing anything!”

(As he goes on about how it’s BS, he’s removing and taking out the stuff he was planning to steal. As he’s leaving, he declares loudly:)

Shoplifter: “I’m never coming back here!”

Loss Prevention: “Good!”