Substitute One Customer For Another

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2018

(I’m at the airport in a popular coffee shop and the woman in front of me is on her phone. She asks for an iced coffee with every imaginable substitution, addition, and change. The poor cashier keeps trying to clarify while the woman is talking on her phone to a friend, and finally breaks away to shout at the cashier:)

Customer: “…and make that as non-fat as possible! I’m trying to lose twenty pounds! Do I look like I need to lose twenty pounds? I need to lose twenty pounds!”

(She keeps talking on her phone while the cashier tries to get her to pay and move on. She finally huffs and sighs and complains to her friend about how the staff are SO RUDE and how she needs to lose twenty pounds. I finally make it to the register and order. I’m dying laughing.)

Cashier: “Any special requests?”

Me: “Yes, please do that in the simplest way possible so I’m not the a**hole you’re making fun of all day!”

(I got a free pastry.)

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