Stupidity: Unplugged

Customer: “I bought this new laptop, but I didn’t like the look of the touchpad so I bought an external wireless mouse to use instead. But it’s not working.”

Me: “Did your mouse come with a little Bluetooth receiver?”

Customer: “Yes, it did.”

Me: “Okay, have you plugged that in?”

Customer: “No, I haven’t.”

Okay, good; this’ll be easy, I figure.

Me: “Plug it in and tell me what prompts you see.”

She sighs angrily to herself, and after a few seconds:

Customer: “Nothing came up.”

Me: “Try moving the mouse.”

Customer: *Angrily* “Yeah, it moves.”

Me: “Great! Problem solved!”

Nope.

Customer: “Okay, but I don’t want this Bluetooth thing connected. What’s the point of buying it if it has to be plugged in?”

Puzzled for a moment, I try to explain that it’s simply a reality of wireless mice, as well as a lot of wireless devices with laptops.

Customer: “Well, that’s insane. It’s needless! The computer already has one connected. I wanted an unconnected one! Now I have to deal with this Bluetooth lead with it getting in the way constantly!”

Again, puzzled, I ask her what brand wireless mouse she purchased so I can look it up and may get an idea of what she is talking about.

She reads the box. And, of course, it’s a wired mouse. That brand doesn’t even sell wireless mice.

Me: “Does the ‘Bluetooth lead’ connect to the mouse physically?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the problem!”

Me: “You’ve bought a wired mouse. You need to return it and get a wireless one if that’s what you want.”

Customer: “But why can’t you just remove the lead? What’s the point of it being wireless if it has the lead?”

Me: “It’s not a wireless mouse, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’m aware of that, and that’s what I’m saying is the issue!”

Me: “Ma’am. The device you bought is not able to be wireless.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: *Pauses* “It wasn’t built that way. It was built to have the wire.”

Customer: “That’s pointless! The computer already has a connected mouse thing. Why would they sell one that can’t be wireless?”

Me: *Pauses longer* “Yeah, I don’t know. You should return it. Make sure they sell you a wireless one. Tell them you specifically want one that is Bluetooth and wireless.”