Stupidity Is On Fire Today

(I and my brother work in a motel. We use traditional metal keys instead of the card keys you often see these days. The locks are old and sometimes door locks can be reluctant to open and you have to jiggle them a little. One day an angry man comes in while we’re working.)

Customer: “My key doesn’t work! It won’t turn in the lock!”

Brother: “Yes, sir, sometimes the keys can do that. Try this one.”

(My brother hands him another key. The customer comes back in shortly thereafter.)

Customer: “The key you gave me didn’t work either!”

Brother: “All right, sir. Let me take another one down there and try to unlock the door for you.”

(My brother goes to the man’s room with him with both keys he had and yet another one. Upon testing all three keys, not one of them gives him any issue at all opening the door. Nonetheless, my brother leaves the newest key with him and tells him that if he has any more trouble, to come back to the office. Later that day, surely enough the man returns.)

Customer: “YOUR D*** KEYS STILL DON’T WORK! I can’t believe this s***! What if there was a fire?!”

(My brother and I look at one another trying not to laugh, to which I respond.)

Me: “Well, sir… if there were a fire, I hope you would be trying to get out of the motel, not in.”

(The customer looks back at us, turns red-faced, and calms down after that. We take him back to his room and let him in once more. After that we don’t hear from him again.)