Stupidity Can Permeate

(I am working a ten-hour shift in a supermarket, and it’s my job to make sure all the checkouts are running smoothly.)

Customer: “I was just enquiring about my free gift!”

Me: “Free gift?”

Customer: “Yeah, there was a sign next to where I picked up the milk, it said ‘something’ free. I want my free gift!”

Me: “I’m not sure about any promotions with our milk, but let me go to the milk fridge and check for you.”

(I go down to the milk fridge to check the customers query, and notice the ticket says “Permeate Free”. It is this new change to Australian milk, which now is free of a certain chemical that used to prolong the life of milk. I head back up to the counter.)

Customer: “About time you came back! WHERE’S MY FREE GIFT!”

Me: “Uhm, ma’am, the ‘gift’ you were enquiring about was our ‘permeate free’ condition.”

Customer: “I don’t care; give me my free permeate!”

Me: “Permeate is an additive of milk, and not a promotion. I can’t give that to you.”

(The customer doesn’t even acknowledge my response out of embarrassment, and quickly pays for her groceries and flees the store. The next customer has been paying attention to this whole argument.)

Next Customer: “Can I have my free permeate as well? Haha, only joking. What a knob!”