Stuck Behind The Couponator

My friend’s blood sugar can drop randomly, and those who know what’s up can tell by the way he gets moody, irritable, and cranky. He’s worked with face-to-face customer service since the week he turned sixteen, so he’s not wet behind the ears when it comes to dealing with difficult customers.

We’re hanging out one day when we decide to hit up the store for some snacks. Unfortunately, the self-checkouts are being remodeled, and the other registers are just as busy as the one we’re standing in.

The woman in front of us is a middle-aged woman, and she is now eating up everyone’s time, as she is — of course — arguing relentlessly over a measly discount that’s expired. She pulls the “I know the owner” and “the managers do this for me all the time” and “I’ll have you fired,” but she will just not accept that the coupon has expired, even with the manager denying every bit of it.

We’re all getting tired of her crap; my friend is no exception. I can see he is nearing the edge of his patience, his blood sugar is dropping, and he’s looking more and more like Squidward by the second. Finally, after the woman starts yelling at the poor employees, my friend suddenly lets out a bellowing voice:

Friend:
“WHY DON’T YOU GO CLOCK IN, THEN, SINCE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? GO, CLOCK IN AND GET THE F*** OUT OF OUR WAY SO WE CAN GO HOME!”

Everyone is, naturally, caught off guard. The woman, red in the face and mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, stares at my friend. I can practically see steam blowing out of his nostrils. The woman just… drops her stuff and walks right out the door. No one says anything else for the entire transaction, and with a polite smile, my friend looks the employee in the eyes and says:

Friend:
“Sorry about her, and sorry I yelled. I just need to get home to eat something, and she was pissing me off. Have a great day!”

He then turned on his heel and walked out. I looked at the employee and hurriedly mumbled a “Sorry” and a “Thank you” and ran out to my friend, snacks in tow. Alas, the candy bars and bottled drinks at the cash register didn’t start clapping, nor did the other shoppers.