Stubs To Be You

I work as an usher in a popular cinema, and my main duty is to check and take the tickets from our customers in the auditorium before they enter the theatres. If the films are popular, then a long line develops and extends into the concessions area, but generally, most customers are okay with that.

I am taking tickets, and three men run past the queue and past me. I start to protest and one, the eldest, shouts over his shoulder that they are going to the toilet and will come back in a minute.

All three needed the toilet so desperately that none could queue? It seems doubtful, but anyway, the older guy does indeed come back a few minutes later — with only two tickets.

Me: “Okay, what about the other guy?”

Customer: “He gave you his ticket!”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but he did not.”

Customer: “Yes, he did!”

Me: “No, he did not. The three of you ran past me without stopping.”

Customer: “He definitely gave you his ticket.”

Me: “Okay, give me his stub.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I only take the top half of the ticket. If he gave me one, then he should still have the other half. Please show it to me.”

Customer: “Uh, well, he doesn’t have it. He put it in the bin.”

Me: “Well, that’s unfortunate. If he has no proof that he bought a ticket, then he will need to leave.”

Customer: “NO! YOU WILL GO THROUGH THAT BIN AND FIND HIS TICKET!”

Me: “Sir, I am not doing that.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

I step away from the customer and radio for the manager on duty to come up (and security). They arrive a few minutes later, and I explain the situation before the customer gives his version of events. Strangely, the third guy has morphed into [Customer]’s wife in the retelling, and it is disgraceful that we have ruined what was meant to be a nice evening of them taking their nephew out to the cinema (the nephew presumably being the second guy, I guess).

As I am dealing with this, I ask my coworker to take tickets for me as I am obviously a bit occupied and other customers are still coming. After five or ten minutes of the guy complaining to the managers and repeating his demands that we rake through the bins to find the missing ticket stub, he suddenly changes tactics.

Customer: “Can I ask, is this a race thing?”

Manager: “Pardon me, where did you get that idea from?”

Customer: “Well, I just noticed that all of those customers are just walking into the cinema at this point, and they just so happen to be white, so I’m starting to feel that this is because I’m not.”

We all turn to look and realised that, unfortunately, the coworker I asked to step in has left without telling us or arranging for someone else to come help, and people are, indeed, just strolling in at this point.

Manager: “Sir, this is not about race. Unfortunately, because our usher is here talking to you right now, they are unable to take tickets from anyone else. However, I don’t think we need his support on this matter anymore, so, [My Name], please go back to your duties. To draw this matter to a close, we will let you all enjoy the film, but in future, please show your tickets and retain your stub.”

Customer: “Well, we have missed the opportunity to buy drinks and sweets. How are you going to make that right for us?”

Manager: “Sir, frankly, I have offered you more than I should. We are not prepared to offer any further concessions, and if you do not want to see the film anymore, then I am just going to have to ask you all to leave.”

The customer goes back into the show, but he and one of the guys (no [Guy #3] and no wife) storm out about ten minutes later.

Customer: “Thanks very much for ruining our night. I hope you have a good night, too!”

Me: *Pretending not to notice the sarcasm* “Thank you, sir. You have a good night, too.”

The customer stops in his tracks, turns, and snarls.

Customer: “Are you trying to be funny?”

Me: “Oh, no, sir, I genuinely hope your night improves from here.”

Customer: “The papers will be hearing about this!”

That was the end of it, but funnily enough, the papers did not actually mention this story at any point over the coming days or weeks. Imagine that!