Stripping Away Any Pretence

My mother-in-law is, to put it mildly, not a nice person. How she was able to raise someone as considerate, open-minded, and tactful as my husband will remain a mystery.

I remember first meeting her at a brunch organised by my future husband. As soon as she’s introduced to me, her eyes go wide, and she says:

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, my! You didn’t tell me she looked so… exotic.”

Husband: “Mom! You can’t say that!”

Me: “I’m half Spanish, ma’am. My father is Spanish, but has some South American heritage.”

Mother-In-Law: “That explains it. You have a maid-like look about you.”

Husband: “Mom!”

Mother-In-Law: “What? I’m simply making conversation. It’s not my fault you pick a girlfriend who looks like a maid… or a stripper.”

Me: “Funny, you should say that. That’s how we met. My stage name is Goldie.”

Mother-In-Law: “…” *Look of shock.*

Me: “What? I’m simply… making conversation.”

Considering I’m a desk-bound actuary who wears glasses and business suits, I took her insult as a compliment. 

Our relationship didn’t improve any from that first meeting.