Stoned His Way Out Of His Job

(At the time I am fresh out of high school, waiting for my ship out date for the military. My former classmate is a manager at a pet supply store and gets me my job. I am a stocker but occasionally assist customers with questions they have.)

Customer: “Hi. Can you recommend a good collar for a pit bull puppy who keeps chewing through his nylon ones?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We have several thick leather collars for puppies who like to chew.”

(As I’m explaining the different types of chew resistant collars and leashes, my manager and former classmate, after spending his entire lunch break smoking pot in the loading dock, tries to whisper something to me but says it in a normal voice in front of this customer and her dog.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name]… “ *muffled giggle* Have you ever [performed a very complicated sexual act] on a girl before?” *more giggles*

(Then he proceeds to run away to the back of the store. After an awkward few seconds that seemed like years between me and said customer, I said:)

Me: “Sooo… the leather one?”

Customer: “Yes. Thanks. Bye.”

(I later found out he was fired for his continued drug use on company property.)