Stock Answers Aren’t Good Enough For The Stock Kid

My teenage son (seventeen) is not autistic, but several people suddenly become experts when they meet him and insist that he must be because of how organized he is and how focused he becomes on his tasks. That would be a few stories on its own, but this time, I’m remembering when he called out one time on his job.

He works for a local grocery store and mainly puts stock out on the shelves. Apparently, he is one of the most efficient at this, thanks to the aforementioned organizational skills and hyper focus. 

He has flu-like symptoms one morning and calls out for his shift later that day. The call is on the home speakerphone, so I can overhear:

Son: “Hi, [Boss], as you can hear, I don’t sound so good. I’m not going to be able to make my shift today.”

Boss: “That is unacceptable.”

Son: “That is… what? It’s unacceptable that I’m sick?”

Boss: “It’s unacceptable that you call out without planning a replacement.”

Son: “I didn’t know I needed to do that. I read the staff handbook, and—”

Boss: “—It’s not in there, but it’s common courtesy to find a replacement for you if you can’t make your shift.”

Son: “Isn’t that your job?”

Boss: “Excuse me?!”

Son: “You’re the manager. Isn’t it your job to make sure there are enough people to maintain the store each shift?”

Boss: “Yes, and there would be if you weren’t calling out!”

Son: “Why did you let this happen?”

Boss: “Excuuuuuse me?!”

Son: “Are you telling me that the difference between the store being able to function and not function is down to one person calling out?”

Boss: “That’s right! So you need to—”

Son: “—isn’t that a crazy risk? What happens if two of us get sick at the same time? What happens if someone gets into an accident on the way in? Shouldn’t there always be a buffer of at least one extra staff member on duty to account for this?”

My poor son. He sounded genuinely perplexed and frustrated that a business would be run this way.

Boss: “Listen here! It’s not your job to tell me how many staff I need to keep on duty! It’s—”

Son: “—we agree! It’s your job! A staffing shortage is a management failure, not a minimum-wage employee problem.”

Boss: “We will talk later about your attitude! For now, you get someone to cover your shift, or you get your a** here instead. Got it?”

Son: “Is there a third option?”

Boss: “You’re fired.”

Son: “Okey dokey.”

He hung up and went back to bed. He didn’t call anyone and didn’t go in for his shift later. When the boss called back, he was still asleep (he really was sick, poor thing), and I answered. When the boss demanded I get him out of bed and into work, I said:

Me: “I overheard your conversation earlier. I should think it’s obvious that my son chose door number three. Stop expecting these poor kids to work twice as hard to compensate for a refusal to hire you d*** cheapskate!”

I hung up and took some medicine up to my son. He appreciated my taking the call.

When he felt better, I explained to him that, sadly, this is how pretty much all retail spaces are managed these days, and that what makes perfect sense to him (have extra staff around to counter any unforeseen shortages) is anathema to profit margins and shareholders. 

He got a job as a freelance graphic designer after that until he went to college. It was way below what he was making in retail, but it kept him busy for a few months, and he never had to touch a retail job ever again.